US-China Information 中美信息

Language-Learning Tips学语言的指点

2010-02-14T15:15:00.007-05:00

Ming says:
明说：

The three most important things that a learner of the Chinese language
should pay attention to are the following:
刚开始学中文的人最需注意的三个重点是：

1. Find a teacher who is knowledgeable about Chinese Pinyin and is
able to speak "Pu Tong Hua," which means Mandarin.
找一个对拼音了解和会讲普通话的老师。

2. Make sure that you can recite Pinyin as well as you can sing the
English ABC song. Also, confirm that the teacher is able to pronounce
Pinyin correctly--e.g., "z, c, s" vs. "zh, ch, sh."
确认你能象背英文ABC歌那样会背拼音。再者，确认老师会把拼音说准。尤其会区分“z,c,s"和"zh,ch,sh"。

3. Try to master the four different tones, and learn to tell the
difference between them.
试者掌握四个声调，而且能指出互相之间的差异。

Nancy says:
Nancy说：

In my opinion the three most important things to keep in mind when learning English are as follows:
我认为学英文的最重要的三点是：

1. Be humble and try to maintain a sense of humor since you will inevitably make many errors as you progress. The more you can leave your ego behind, the faster you'll learn the language and the more you'll enjoy it!
谦虚并保持幽默。因为在学的过程中犯错误是难免的。自我意识越少，你学英语学的越快，并更能欣赏此语言。

2. Expose yourself to as many varieties of the language as possible:
-formal and informal English,
-the spoken as well as the written language, and
-native speakers with all different types of accents.
尽量多接触各种语言：
　　　　－正规和不正规的英语，
　　　　－口语和书写，
　　　　－带各种口音的美国人。

3. Find a teacher who is a native speaker of English and is either a linguist or has taught ESL at a top notch university. This type of person will not only know the language but will also know how to teach it. If you don't have the time or money to take classes right now, use some of the many good free online resources available to you. One great place to start is  http://eslgold.net/
找一个美国语言老师或在有名大学教过外国学生英语的老师。此老师不仅懂得英文，而且懂得如何来教。如果你现在没有时间和钱去选课，可利用一些免费网络资源来学英文。开始的好地方是： http://eslgold.net/

We hope you have fun!
希望你会有乐趣！

International Etiquette Expert's Book Now Available in Chinese

2009-09-24T11:48:00.022-04:00

Earlier this year, we had the pleasure of interviewing international etiquette expert Judith Bowman about her bestselling book Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette. In the interview, which was first was posted on January 26, 2009, Judith discussed some of the important ways to show respect, inspire confidence, and earn trust in order to nurture a business relationship. Drawing on her own business dealings in China and Japan, she also discussed some of the most common reasons why international business relationships sometimes fail.

今年初，我们有幸采访国际专家朱迪思.鲍曼有关她的畅销书‘国际礼仪’：商业礼仪新准则。在２００９年１月２６日的采访中，朱迪思谈到有关表示尊敬，提高自信和取得信任的重要方法以便保护一个商业关系。从她自己和中日两国的生意交往中，朱迪思谈到一些通常国际商业关系失败的原因。

Today, we're happy to announce that Judith's book has been translated into Mandarin and is now available in two editions, which can be purchased via the links at the bottom of this post.

今天，我们很高兴宣布朱迪思的版本已经给翻译成中文。在此刊结尾，您可找到联网地址去买她的中英版本。

To mark the publication of the Chinese editions, Ming has translated the interview from English to Mandarin, so that it can be enjoyed by more Chinese readers. The translation of the interview appears on the January 26th post. Enjoy!

为了庆祝此书中文版出版，明把那次采访翻译成中文。这样更多的中国观众也可以欣赏此书。此中文翻译出版在１月２６日的期刊上。请快乐阅读。

To purchase a Mandarin edition of New Rules of Business Etiquette, click on any of the links below.

amazon

xinhuabookstore

beifabook

Qing Ming Festival

2009-05-26T17:46:00.008-04:00

Qing Ming, a holiday whose name means “clear and bright,” is a special day in China for mourning family members who have died. It falls in early April—the annual time for spring plowing and sowing.

清明，“清和明”的节日，是中国纪念死去亲人的特殊日子。一般是在四月份，每年春天耕地和下种的季节。

Both members of China’s majority Han population and members of the country’s ethnic minorities offer sacrifices to their ancestors on Qing Ming. The holiday is also called “Shaomu” or “grave-sweeping day” because on this day family members of the deceased clear away dead leaves and weeds and add new dirt to the grave and then pay their respects to their family members who have died. Having cleaned the grave site, family members place foods that they have brought--such as cooked chicken, eggs, fish, sausages, fruits, wine and other spirits—on newspaper and then bow and kneel to show respect for the dead. After honoring the dead, and often asking them to protect family members as well, the food is eaten by the more senior members of the family to bring them good luck and prolong their lives, and fresh flowers are placed on the grave. To ensure that their ancestor’s gravesites will be maintained throughout the year, some people also pay farmers who live around the area to act as caretakers.

汉族和少数民族都在这天去拜访他门的祖先。这天也叫扫墓，因为家人清扫走落叶，拔草，给墓地加新土，然后在给先人拜供。上供时家人在报纸上摆上烧好的鸡，鸡蛋，鱼，肠，水果，酒。上供后，叫先人来保佑家人。然后上供的食物给家里年纪大的人吃，带来好运和取的长寿。鲜花也置在墓地上。要维持先人墓地，有些人会给附近的农民钱来让他们照顾坟地。

As with other Spring holidays in other parts of the world, the days surrounding Qing Ming are the perfect time for Spring cleaning. People clean, decorate their houses with fresh flowers, and cook large amounts of food for picnics. Families get together, and relatives travel from other cities to join them and pay their respects at the gravesite. People who don’t visit their ancestors’ graves on Qing Ming may be criticized for failing to respect their ancestors.

就象春节在世界其它地方一样，清明是春理的最好季节。人们清理，用鲜花来装饰房间，做很多野餐的饭。家人团聚，亲人从其他城市回来扫墓。清明不回来扫墓的人有可能会受到不尊敬先人的批评。

Throughout Chinese history, there have been a lot of famous poems written about the highly celebrated Qing Ming Festival. One of the most famous poems is “Qing Ming,” written by a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty named Du Mu.

在中国的历史上，有很多有关清明的著名诗歌。最有名的是唐代杜牧写的“清明”。

Qing Ming

It rains continuously in Qing Ming,
Pedestrians are extremely saddened.
Asked where the shops selling liquor are,
A shepherd points toward the village surrounded by apricot trees.

清明

清明时节雨纷纷，
路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处是，
牧童摇指杏花村。

If you happen to visit China around the time of Qing Ming, don’t be surprised to see large groups of people—families walking along rural mountain roads, on their way to honor their ancestors by participating in the rituals of Qing Ming.

如你有幸在清明时节访问中国，当你看见成群的人在山路上走，请不要惊呀。这是人们去扫墓。

2009-03-02T17:10:00.013-05:00

Yin Needs Help! (#3)
阴需要帮忙　（第三期）

Part II: What to Do if You Miss Your Flight
&
How to Avoid Missing Your Flight
第二部分：如误机该做什么以及如何避勉误机

Q: My friend who will be coming to Pittsburgh in February is very worried that he could miss his flight. This happened to his cousin Yang last year, and he ended up spending the night in the airport. What can he do to prevent this from happening?

问：我的朋友二月要到匹嵫堡来，他很担心误机。他的表弟去年误了机，　结果在机场过夜。他如何能避勉此事发生？

A: Missing a flight can certainly be stressful—and expensive, too. When a person misses a flight, the most important thing to do is to stay calm and allow the customer service agent to arrange for you to have a seat on the next available flight. Make sure to let the agent know that you need to get to your destinations as soon as possible, and if the agent is not very helpful, find another agent or ask to talk to a supervisor. (See also the information about Language Line in the 1/09 Yin Needs Help! column.)

回：误机很伤脑筋，也很花费。当人误机，最重要的是包持安静，让服负人员给按排下趟航班。一定告知服务员你需要尽快达到终点站。如此服务员不是很热心的话，去另找一个服务员或找负责人。（请看一月九日的期刊：阴需要帮忙一刊。）

However, if your friend follows the guidelines below, he should be sure to get on his flight without any problem:

但是，如你的朋友尊巡以下规则，他会一路顺风。

1. Change Your Watch -- I (Ming) have seen many international travelers miss their flights due to differences in time zones. To prevent this from happening, change your watch to the local time as soon as you arrive at the airport.

１。把手表的时间调到当地时间。我（明）遇到很多国际游客因时间差误了机。预防此事，一到不同的机场立刻调到当地时间。

2. Customer Service Agents – As soon as you arrive at the gate, present yourself to the customer service agents of the airline you’re flying with, and ask them to let you know when it’s time for boarding.

２。服务员。一到一个新机场，跟此航空公司服务员打招呼，到登机时请让他们通知你。

3. Watch and Listen for Updates -- Keep an eye on the boarding time that’s posted or announced since the customer service agents may get busy and not be able to remind you when it’s time for you to board the plane.

３。注意的听航班信息。盯看着登机时间和仔细听着航班报道。因为服务员一忙，会找不到时间来通知你去登机。

We hope your friend has an enjoyable trip.

我们希望你的朋友航程愉快。

(The next column—to be posted in April: What to Do If Your Flight Is Canceled)

（下刊在四月登刊。如航班取消该怎么办？）

Chinese New Year Quiz

2009-02-03T13:09:00.008-05:00

The Chinese New Year's celebration, which this year began on January 26th, is one of the major holidays in Chinese culture. How much do you know about this special day? Try your hand at the questions below.
庆祝春节是中国的传统。今年春节是在一月二十六日开始的，是最重要的节日之一。你对此重要日子有何了解？试答以下问题。

Xin Nian Kuai Le! (Happy New Year!)新年快乐！

Questions
问题

1. What Zodiac year is it?

　今年是什么年？

2. How many animal signs are there?

　一共有多少属相？

3. What are the names of the animals in the Chinese zodiac?

　中国属相的名字是什么？

4. What animals dance a traditional part of the New Year's celebration?

　什么属相舞是春节的传统舞？

5. What is the Chinese New Year typically called?

　中国新年叫什么？

6. How many days does the New Year's celebration last?

　春节一般持续多久？

7. How did this holiday originate?

　春节是如何开始的？

8. What color is associated with good luck?

　什么艳色是喜色？

9. What do Chinese children do when they first get up on New Year’s Day?

　中国儿童新年早上起来先做什么？

10. What do the children receive in return?

　他们收到什么礼物？

11. What kind of clothing do they wear?

　他们穿什么衣服？

12. What do you hear throughout New Year's Day?

　春节那天能听到什么？

13. How do people greet each other when they meet?

　人们如何问好？

14. What do people eat to bring good luck?

　吃什么食物能带来好运？

15. How many animals comprise the Chinese dragon?

　中国龙是有多少动物组成的？

16. Name the animals that comprise the dragon’s body.

　这些动物的名字是什么？

Answers
答案

1. The Year of the Ox.

　牛年。

2. 12.

　１２。

3. Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep/goat, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig.

鼠，牛，虎，兔，蛇，龙，马，羊，猴，鸡，狗和猪。

4. Lion and dragon.

　狮和龙。

5. "The Spring Festival."

　春节。

6. 30.
　
　３０。

7. Legend has it that long time ago, there was a monster called “Nian,” who would go to villages and eat the children. Pretty soon, parents started putting food outside their houses for the monster so that he would not eat their children. Nian was happy and left the children alone, but he still lurked around the villages, worrying the people. The village people decided to use firecrackers to scare the monster away. This worked, Nian left, and he has never returned. The firecrackers that people set off this as part of this year's New Year's celebration followed a tradition that has existed for thousands of years.

传说很久以前，有个怪物叫年。它去村子里吃小孩子。很快，父母们开始把食物放在门外给怪物吃，　这样它就不会吃小骇子。年很高兴就不吃小孩子了，但是还是不离开村子，让人胆心。村上的人就决定用炮仗来吓走怪物。这真有效，怪物一去不返。从那以后，春节放炮仗就成了中国几千年的传统。

8. Red.

　红色。

9. Children first “bainian” to the oldest member of the family in their household (typically grandparents), then they “bainian” to their parents. “Bainian” means show respect towards a person(s) by bowing toward them.

　骇子们先给年岁最大的拜年，一般是祖父祖母。完了再给父母拜年。

10. Money in red envelopes.

　红包。

11. New clothing.

　新衣服。

12. Firecrackers.

　炮仗。

13. Xin Nian Kuai Le, Gong Xi Fa Cai! (Happy New Year and make a fortune!)

　新年快乐，恭喜发财。

14. Nian Gao (sticky rice cakes, dumplings, fish, and many other foods).

　年糕，饺子，鱼和很多其它的食物。

15. 9.

　９。

16. The Chinese dragon is made up of:
　- the head of a camel,骆驼的头
　　- the eyes of a devil,怪物的眼睛
- the ears of a cow,　牛的耳朵
- the horns of a stag,鹿的角
- the neck of a snake,蛇的脖子
- the belly of a clam, and　哈蜊的肚子和
- the 117 scales of a carp.　117 片鱼鳞。
　
With this post, we send you our very best wishes for good luck and prosperity throughout all of the new year. Xin Nian Kuai Le! (Happy New Year!)

我们用此期刊向大家拜年，祝大家新年快乐，恭喜发财。

Don't Take the Last Donut: A Conversation with Author Judith Bowman

2009-01-26T20:28:00.052-05:00

Ming and Nancy recently had the good fortune to interview Judith Bowman, author of the current bestseller Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette. The book reflects Ms. Bowman’s experience as founder of Protocol Consultants International and her position as a well known etiquette expert. Rather than seeing business etiquette as a “quaint display of good manners,” she—and her many clients in the U.S. and abroad—instead see it as an all-important set of signals that show respect, inspire confidence, and earn trust in order to advance a business relationship. Written for business people, Don’t Take. . . offers valuable information for any professional relationship. We asked Judith about what her extensive experience with international clients has taught her. Excerpts from the interview—and quotes from her very interesting and accessible book--follow.

明和Nancy:有机会电话采访写商务新礼仪这本畅销书的作者：朱迪思.鲍曼。这书反应出朱迪思.鲍曼有名的对商务礼仪的经验和国际咨讯公司创始人的特殊专长。她和她的美外客户对表示尊敬，激发信心和取得信认不看成是商务礼仪的‘礼貌的摆示’，而认为是加强商业关系的重要信号。专门为商界人士所写，商务新礼仪之书给职业关系提供不可估价的信息。我们问朱迪思有关她对国际客户的广交经验教了她什么。以下是从和她的采访中的摘录和她有趣及易读书中的引述。

Ming & Nancy: You’ve dealt with a wide range of clients, both American and international. Have you found that there are any rules of etiquette that apply for all cultures?

明和Nancy : 你和许多美外客户打交道，是否注意到有统一的礼仪所有的文化可以通用？

Judith: Well, you know, etiquette is really just based on the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. In the 17th century, at the time of King Louis XIV, “etiquettes” were signs telling visitors to keep off the castle lawn—they functioned as boundary markers that allowed the visitors to enjoy their visit by indicating expected behavior. And etiquette, as a code of expected behavior, serves the same function today: once people know the acceptable codes of correct behavior, they can focus on, and enjoy, other social activities. In contemporary French, the word “etiquette” means “ticket” or “label,” and-- in the same way and throughout the world--etiquette, as a set of polite behaviors, labels a person and functions as their ticket into a particular world. Basically etiquette is a way to show respect and consideration for others. And to recognize that even little things are significant.

朱迪思：你知道，礼仪是根倨对待别人像你自己喜欢被对待的金则一样。在十七世纪，赂伊厮十四王帝说：‘礼仪’好似告知访者不要上城堡绿地的标记。也作为允许来访者享乐的僵界。礼仪，作为行为准则，现今有同样的功能。一旦人们知道去接受正确的行为准则，他们就能关注，享受其它的社交活动。在当今法语，‘礼仪’之词表示‘门票’或‘标牌’的意思。同样，世界各地，礼仪是一套礼貌的准则，标牌一个人。也起门票的功能，可允许你进如特殊社交圈。基本来讲，礼仪是表示对他人的尊敬和照顾。为达到那一步，既使小事也十分重要。

[From Chapter 1, “Little Things Mean a Lot”--There is nothing little about the little things in business. . . ]

（第一章：小事有很大影响，在生意上是没有微不足道的小事的）

Ming & Nancy: American culture is less than 300 years old. Chinese culture has existed for over 5,000. Has it been difficult for you to help Americans understand the culture and etiquette of such an ancient culture, or to help Chinese clients understand the customs of the United States?

明和Nancy:美国历史还不到３００年。中国有５０００多年的历史。帮助美国人去理解这么悠久的古老文化和礼仪，或去帮助中国客户来理解美国的风土人情，你觉得是有困难吗？

Judith: I think that, especially when you’re dealing with an international context, etiquette always involves being aware of customs and taking the time to learn about the practices and rituals of the other person’s culture.

朱迪思:尤其从国际情竟角度上看，我认为礼仪总是和注重风土人情，耐心向其它文化学习它们的实践和礼节。

[Chapter 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”--Making] the effort to learn about the culture and traditions of their target country will. . . earn you respect [by] demonstrating respect for your counterpart’s culture and traditional ways.]

（第１３章：国际礼仪－努力学习目标国家的文化和传统会获得敬重。以此表示对对方文化和传统的尊敬。

Judith: In trying to understand other cultures, I think it’s also helpful to keep in mind the distinction between what anthropologist Edward T. Hall calls “high-context” cultures, like China and most of Asia, and “low-context cultures,” associated with Western cultures like American culture. According to Hall, high-context cultures value group effort, rely on nonverbal cues, and—especially—tend to conduct business only after 2 or 3 initial meetings during which the people get to know and trust each other. These meetings allow a Chinese person to evaluate a visitor and are very important since they form the basis for a any successful business relationship in the future. Low-context cultures, by contrast, tend to be more individualistic, emphasize verbal communication, and—having a “here and now” orientation—expect to get down to business at the first meeting.

朱迪思:试着去理解其他文化，我认为时时记住如人类学家爱德化.霍儿所叫的高情竟的区别是十分有用的。象中国和大部分亚洲国家都是‘高情竟’，西方文化如美国文化是‘低情竟’。根据华儿所说，高情竟的文化珍视集体成就，依靠非言词的提示，尤其是等到２－３次会面后有了互相了解而产生信任后才做生意。这些会面允许中国人来衡量来访者。这是非常重要的，因为这是未来生意关系成功的基础。相比来说，低情竟强调个人主义，重视语言沟通，和有’此时此地'的趋向。希望在第一次见面就做生意。　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
[From Ch. 13: “Travel & International Etiquette”-- In the world, there are two types of cultures known as high context and low context cultures. . . Both cultures represent different ways of conceptualizing and communicating, including language, verbal and nonverbal communication, customs, perceived values, and perceptions regarding time and space.”]

（第１３章：国际礼仪。在世界上有高情竟和低情竟的两种文化。这两种文化代表不同的思考和沟通方式，包括语言，语言表达或无言表达，风俗习惯，观察价值和对时间和空间的概念。

Ming & Nancy: What other differences in business customs arise from these different orientations?

明和Nancy:从此不同的倾向，还产生其他做生意不同的习俗吗？

Judith: Actually, there are many. For instance, since China is a high-context culture which is team-oriented and stresses group membership, successful business relationships always begin with the introduction of individuals at the same level in their respective companies by an all-important mutually respected third party. In fact, getting a first meeting in most cultures other than the U.S. usually requires this sort of contact.

朱迪思:实际上，有很多不同习俗。比如，中国是高情竟的文化，注重小组和团体。成功的商业关系总是有第三者来介绍同等职位的公司人员。实际中，除了美国之外，大多文化要求第三者来组织第一次会面。

Another thing that often surprises Americans engaged in any international business, not just in China, is the importance of gifting. It’s really important to know who and when to gift.

另外，使不仅在中国做生的美国国际生意人惊讶的是送礼的重要性。知道送礼的对相和时机是相当重要的。

Ming & Nancy: What kind of gift do you generally suggest?

明和Nancy:一般你推荐什么礼物？

Judith: You know, gifting is really an art unto itself. You really have to put some thought into it—and be aware of cultural taboos that could offend the person who will receive the gift: e.g., a certain color that has negative associations, or a certain number that is considered unlucky. I often suggest giving something that reflects the client’s state or country—e.g., some music, maybe a CD of an orchestra from the client’s home state, presented in a monogrammed leather or silver case. A coffee table book is also a good idea.

朱迪思:你知道，送礼真是一门学问。你真得好好思考。而且要注意的习俗的禁忌有可能冒犯收礼的人。比如某些颜色和数字有不吉利的影示。我经常推荐礼物代表客户的洲或国家。比如音乐，可是客户的家乡音乐CD,　用有雕刻字的皮盒或银盒来装。送放在咖啡桌上的书也是一个好主意。　

One other thing Americans should know is that entertainment is a very important part of the business protocol in China. International clients or prospective business partners may be honored with one, or even several, lovely and very formal dinners—banquets really. Sitting around a round table, guests are presented with as many as 20 courses, each one described ceremoniously as it is presented—e.g., “This is an extremely rare mushroom soup,” or “This is a special delicacy: rooster feet. . . .” Many servers stand by attentively throughout the meal, graciously serving with both hands and illustrating the emphasis on ceremony that’s typical of China.

美国人还要知道娱乐是中国做生意的很重要的一部分。国际客户和有希望合作的商业合作人会得到一次或很多次的象宴会似的招待。坐在圆桌上，会有２０多道菜。每上一道菜都得到很礼节性的介绍。比如，‘这是十分稀少的磨菇汤。’或‘这是特殊的佳肴：公鸡的脚。’很多服务员在一旁专心招待，用双手礼貌的端菜端饭，反印出中国特殊注重礼节的形象。

Nancy: And should the visitor acknowledge the hospitality by trying to reciprocate during their visit? Or just acknowledge the hospitality after they’ve returned home? What do you recommend?

Nancy:那客户在访问期间是否应同样回待客家表示感谢？或回去后再表示感谢？你推荐哪种？

Ming: Usually, guests are expected to acknowledge the hospitality they’ve received by offering to host, or gift, a banquet for their host.

明:一般来讲，客户应对东道主有表示，邀请吃饭或送礼物。

Judith: I’d like to add that the visitor should quietly arrange to take care of the bill in advance in order to avoid an awkward moment, eliminating any chance of the bill appearing at the table.

朱迪思:我还要提出客户应该提前安排好付帐单，以免帐单出现在桌子上的尴尬情境。

Ming & Nancy: Given that entertaining is such a big part of business, have you encountered any other cross-cultural “etiquette challenges” with regard to dining?

明和Nancy:看来娱乐是做生意如此重要的一部分，你遇到过其它在宴会时文化交流的’礼仪挑战‘吗？

Judith: Yes. One of the biggest shocks to me when I was in China—and Americans need to know about this—is to be prepared for noises--lots of slurping, elbows on the table, etc., even at formal meals. I remember one particular banquet, hosted by the Mayor of Beijing. I was trying to eat noodles the way I would in the States—sitting up straight, keeping my left hand in my lap, and using the chopsticks to lift the noodles to my mouth, but my American manners were completely inappropriate. Luckily, my Japanese partner, who was our intermediary, caught my eye and very subtly demonstrated to me how to eat noodles by putting the bowl up to my mouth and “shoveling” them in with chopsticks. It’s important to be aware of customs and to demonstrate respect for your host’s culture by making an attempt to follow them.

朱迪思:遇到过。美国人需要作好准备的是吃饭时的声音，这也是我在访问中国时最吃惊的。吃饭时有很多喝汤的声音，胳膊肘放在桌子上，即使在很正式的场合都有。我特别记得由北京市长主持的一次宴会。我试着象在美国时吃面条，坐的直背直腰，把左手放在膝盖上，用筷子挑面条放进嘴里。但是我的美国举止方式是根本不合适的。幸好，我的中间人日本股东看到后，很不引起注意地让我看他如何拿起碗放到嘴边，用筷子把面条‘铲’到嘴里去。意识到风俗习惯和表示对东道主的尊敬试着跟他们去做是十分重要的。

[From Ch. 7: Dining Skills—“There is nothing more ordinary than the business meal; however, whether much business is conducted or not, the table can be both an opportunity and a minefield. . .”]

（第７章：吃饭技巧。商业饭局是很经常的。但是，有没有做到生意，饭桌可变成良机或埋下地雷。）

Ming & Nancy: Can you give an example of one area where problems may occur because the visitor isn’t aware of the customs?

明和Nancy:你能给举个有关客户不知道东道主的风俗习惯而产生问题的例子吗？

Judith: Well, often problems arise with the use of “yes” and “no.” In some cultures, like Japan and China, people will avoid saying the word “no” for risk of offending and will instead say something like “This may not be possible.”

朱迪思:好的。经常出现问题的是和用’是‘和’不‘有关。在一些文化中，如日本和中国，人们避免说’不‘字，以防冒犯东道主，会说‘这不太可能。’

[From Ch. 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”—“[Members of many Asian cultures like China or Japan] will never say no. Because they are a most gracious culture,. . . they will say “Perhaps not at this time” or “This may not be possible.” Read between the lines and understand this subtlety really means no way. . .”]

第１３章：’国际礼仪‘。很多象中国和日本的亚洲文化不会说不字。因为这些文化是最优美的文化，他们会说‘没准这次不行’或‘这可能不行。’试着深入表面，懂得这些含蓄的回答实际是在说绝不可能。‘

Judith: Also, it’s important to be aware that many things like jokes and gestures are culturally specific. What’s funny or symbolic in one country may not be or may have an entirely different meaning in another. Even gestures can mean different things in different cultures. For example, exposing the soles of one’s feet is seen as extremely insulting in many countries, including China. One other area of possible confusion is personal space, or the “comfort zone” between two speakers that is perceived as comfortable. For Americans, it’s usually one arm’s length, but in Asia it’s more like three arms lengths, so this can cause problems.

朱迪思:还有，懂得很多笑话和手势是和文化形影不离的。在一个国家好笑的或有意义的举动，　在另一个国家有可能会有全然不同的意义。甚至举止也可能有不同的意义。比如，展示脚心在很多国家，包括中国，都很不礼貌。另一个容易引起混淆的是个人空间，或两个说话人之间的’舒服区‘。对美国人来讲，一般是一胳膊的距离，但在亚洲，大多超过三个胳膊的距离，这有可能产生问题。

[From Chapter 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”—“Personal space is to be respected at all costs. Please know that personal space. . . varies [from country to country].”]

（第１３章：国际礼仪。’个人空间应该不惜成本去尊敬。请注意个人空间可因国家而不同。‘）

Nancy: Exactly. I remember teaching English to international students and running into problems with this same issue when, e.g., a Latin American and a Japanese student would be acting out a dialog in the front of the room: They’d start in the middle of the room, but pretty soon they’d start moving across the room--as the Asian moved back to create more personal space and the Latin tried to move closer to establish less personal space.

Nancy:十分正确。我记得在我教国际学生英语时也遇到同样的情境。例如，一个拉丁美洲的学生和一个日本学生在教室前排演。他们在教室中间开始的，但很快他们就开始往一边移。当亚洲人往后移来争取更多个人空间，拉丁人试着去移近来减少个人空间。

Judith: When I went to China, I was very aware of these different perspectives on personal space, so, I was surprised to see Chinese approach foreigners and request to have their picture taken with them and then put their arm around the visitors as if they were close friends.

朱迪思:当我去中国时，我很熟悉不同的个人空间感。我很惊讶的看到中国人去问外国人，要求和他们一起照像，还把胳膊放在外国人肩上，好似他们是好朋友。

Ming: I think that this kind of thing happens because China is undergoing major cultural changes and so some Chinese people may adopt elements of American culture. Generally, though, I think that the occasion will define what’s appropriate—e.g., more personal space for a business meeting but less for a casual setting or a photo.

明: 我认为这种情景出现是因为中国在经历很大的文化变迁。有些中国人会接受一些美国文化。一般来讲，我认为此事此境会决定什么是合适举动。比如说，生意上用更多个人空间，在比较随便的场合，象照相，就少一些个人空间。

Judith: Yes, but even so, boundaries still pertain. I remember a photo taken with the Mayor of Beijing and and various senior-level people where another, overly-enthusiastic, American visitor grabbed the Mayor of Beijing and put him in a football-style headlock, with his arm around the Mayor’s neck, something that was completely inappropriate.

朱迪思:对。即使如此，还应有间线。我记得和北京市长及其他高级职位的官员照相时，一个过分热情的美国人一把用胳膊把市长的脖子给搂住了，象打橄榄球一样。这样的举动是绝对不合适的。

One other area of cultural overlap is with regard to names. In China, surnames traditionally come before given names--not after, as in the States. However, in recent years, Chinese business people—or those who deal with Westerners on a regular basis, sometimes adopt the American custom and reverse the order, which can sometimes leave the visitor wondering which name is which. When in doubt, always ask. And sometimes Chinese people even take on an American name such as Tom or David to accommodate Western visitors. This is just one of countless things Chinese do to be gracious.

另一个要注意的地方是名字。在中国，家姓传统是在名之前，不是在后，象美国是在名之后。但是，最近，中国的生意人，或那些和西方人打交道的人，有时会采用美国风俗习惯，会把家姓放在名之后。这会导致来访者很多困惑，　不知哪是名，哪是姓。在困惑时，最好问询。而且，有时中国人会取美国名字，象大为或汤母来接纳西方来访人员。这只是中国人好客的无数例子之一。

[Ch. 2, “Introductions”—“Your best bet is to be direct and quietly ask. . . If you ask with sincerity, much is forgiven as you will demonstrate your desire to be appropriate and respectful.”]

（第２章：介绍。你最好的做法是直接并小声地问。如你问时带着诚恳的态度，那么万事多可原谅。因为你想要表示合适行为和尊敬。）

Judith: Tipping seems to be another area where customs are changing. For example, older Chinese may consider tipping insulting, but many younger Chinese have adapted to American ways and are happy to accept tips. One would not be chased out the door for a tip, but there’s an acute awareness of tipping. Many restaurants, and even some cab drivers, now add a gratuity, as in Europe.

朱迪思:给小费也在变化。例如，稍老些的中国人会认为给他小费会觉得是侮辱，但很多年青人已接纳了美国的方式，会十分高兴地接受小费。你不会因为不给小费而被赶出去，但是对给小费是大家都知道的。

Ming: I agree with Judith that people are happy to receive tips, especially if you don’t tip them in front of their bosses!

明:我也和朱迪思一样认为，人们很高兴接收小费，尤其是不在他们的老板面前给小费。

Ming & Nancy: Judith, you’ve given us a lot of wonderful advice for the American doing business abroad. If you were to give a Chinese client who wanted to do business in the U.S. three important pieces of advice, what would they be?

明和Nancy:朱迪思,你给了美国人如何在国外做生意的非常好的建议。如果你给中国人想在美国做生意的三条建议的话，它们会是什么？

Judith: First, that “time is money.” Americans will want to get information and get the deal done: pitch the proposal, counter objections, close the deal. I’d tell them to expect to do business right away.

朱迪思:第一，’时间就是金钱’。美国人要取得信息，把交易做成。先提建议，提出异议，生意成交。我得对中国人的建议是快速做生意。

[Ch. 13: “Travel & International Etiquette”—“Americans operate in a low-context culture and “monochronic” time theme. Time is money. “Let’s do this now.”]

（第１３章：国际礼仪。美国人在低情竟的文化中操作，’单一‘时代旋律。时间就是金钱。’我们现在就做。‘）

Second, I’d tell the client that because American business people tend to use of a lot of electronic communication devices—phone, email, text-messaging, etc.— they will be expected to at least be able to do some business by phone.

第二点，我要告诉客户的是，美国生意人一般都愿用电子通讯设备，如电话，电子邮件，打信等。至少用电话来做部分生意是在预料之中的。

[Ch. 5: “Telephone Skills”—“You should dedicate time, effort, and pre-planning before you place your telephone calls. The telephone call is simply another form of presentation, one that is actually more challenging and requires more, not less, prep work.”]

（第５章：电话技术。你应该在打电话之前找出时间，努力，并做提前计划。打电话只是另一种方式的介绍形式。这更具挑战，更需要多做提前准备。

And finally, I’d make them aware that although gifts and entertainment are a big part of international business protocol, they are used much less often in the U.S..

最后，我想让他们知道，礼物和娱乐是做国际生意的很大一部分，在美国就相对用的少多了。

For Americans I’d advise: say “please” and “thank you” frequently, prepare well and in detail for any business dealings or meetings, and remember that the Chinese are very gracious people who value graciousness highly.

和美国人做生意，我要告诉中国客户经常说’请‘和’谢谢‘，在任何谈生意的场合和会面的时机下都要预先作好准备并且要作好仔细准备。

Ming & Nancy: Judith, it’s been wonderful talking with you. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise and some of your international business experiences with us and with our readers.

明和Nancy:朱迪思，这次和你的谈话真是令人愉快。非常感谢你和我们及我们的读者分享你的专家学识和一些你的国际商业经验。

Judith: It was my pleasure to talk to both of you. And thank you for sharing your experience with me, too.

朱迪思:跟你们谈话也是我的享受。也谢谢你们和我一起分享你们的经验。

Here is a link that will allow you to purchase the English-language version of Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette. The Chinese-language version will be available soon.

这是让你购买商务新礼仪英文版的网站：http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1564149293?ie=UTF8&tag=uschiinf-20&

中文版马上就要出版了。

Ming's in the News!

2009-01-26T20:13:00.002-05:00

Ming's teaching of Mandarin was recently the subject of an article in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

Yin Needs Help! (#2)

2009-01-02T23:14:00.010-05:00

Yin asks: What can an international traveler do to have a enjoyable trip?

阴问：国际游人如何才能有个快乐的旅程？

Part I: Overcoming the Language Barrier While Traveling

第一部份：在旅程上克服语言障碍

Q: The friend I wrote about last time, who will be coming to Pittsburgh soon for a 3-month professional seminar, is very worried about flying to Pittsburgh because his English isn’t that good. What can he do if he’s having trouble communicating with the people who work for the airline?

问：上次我写的那个朋右要来匹滋堡进修三个月，怕英语不好，很担心坐飞机来。在有困难和航空人员交流的情况下他能做什么？

A: As people who both work for an airline (Ming) and have traveled extensively (Ming & Nancy), we know that a language barrier can make international travel very stressful. However, there are several things that any international traveler can do to make his/her trip more pleasant. The next 3 columns will offer practical suggestions that will help any traveler.

A: 我（明）给航空公司做事，明和Nancy同时也经常去游玩，我们知道语言障碍能使旅程变得非常困难。但是，世界游人能用几个方法来使旅程变得容易一些。今后的三个期刊会提供实际建义来帮助游人。

Airlines are very aware of language barriers, and they offer passengers a couple of special services to help make their trips easier:

航空公司深知语言障碍，他们提供几个特殊服务来帮助使旅程变得容易一些。

1. MAAS (Meet and Assist Service) – When a passenger books a flight (makes his/her reservations). he/she can request this extra service, which is available to any passenger with special needs. MAAS alerts airline agents that the passenger needs assistance, and an agent meets the passenger when they arrive at the airport.

１.　MAAS(接机服务) －当旅客订机票时，可以要求此项特殊服务。任何需此服务的游客都可伸请。MAAS(接机服务) 提醒机场服务员去接机需求此服务的游客。

2. Language Line – Every international airline also offers instant translation of information through Language Line, a telephone service that is available to any passenger upon request.

These special services, which are available to any passenger, should help your friend have an enjoyable trip.

2. 语言线台－每个国际航空公司都使用语言线台提供快速翻译服务。这是提供给需求乘客的电话服务。

(Yin Needs Help #3—How to Avoid Missing Your Flight—will be posted on 2/1.)

(阴需要帮助#3-如何避免误机－会在二月一日登刊。)

If you have any questions or comments about this column—or if you’d like to suggest a question for a future column, please email them to us at: us_chinaconnections@yahoo.com

如对此期刊有问询或评注－或想对以后期刊有提议，请发电给我们，　电址是：us_chinaconnections@yahoo.com。

Yin Needs Help! (#1)

2008-12-17T21:30:00.013-05:00

Over the years, as the result of our experience and contact with individuals from other countries, we’ve become aware of their frequent need for help to meet the challenges of daily living. In this column, we try to offer advice to “Yin,” a composite of the many professionals, students, and visitors we’ve encountered over the years.

多年来，因我们的经力加上和从他乡友人的交往，我们感到他们应付日常生活的艰难。我们试探给阴提供建议。阴是我们从多年和其他行业的职员，学生和游客交流后创造的人物。

Yin asks: Where can a person take ESL classes in the evening/weekend?
Q: A friend of mine will be coming to Pittsburgh soon for a 3-month professional seminar, and he wants to receive some additional ESL help to improve his English. How can he find out what’s available?

阴问：人们晚间或周末去什么地方能上英语课？我有个朋右要来匹滋堡参加三个月的职业会义。他想再接受一些英语陪训来提高他的英语。他怎么能得到有关信息？

A: Pittsburgh offers a wealth of ESL resources to international students and visitors—in part because the University of Pittsburgh has a program that trains ESL instructors, and many of them stay in Pittsburgh after they graduate. These resources include daytime classes, evening classes, and individual tutoring. The cost of these varies ranges from college tuition (expensive) to free. The website for Carnegie Mellon University’s Intercultural Communication Center--http://www.cmu.edu/icc/family/index.shtml--contains a list of the resources available. We hope that your friend enjoys his stay in Pittsburgh!

匹滋堡给国际学生和游客提供很多有关学英语作为第二语言的服务。因为匹滋堡大学有陪训学英语作为第二语言的老师，很多老师毕业后就呆在匹滋堡了。这些服务包括日间，晚间和私人辅导课，学费从免费到很贵的大学学费。Carnegie Mellon 大学智能信息中心的网站：http://www.cmu.edu/icc/family/index.shtml--提供一个服务系例表。我们希望你的朋右会喜欢匹滋堡。

If you have any questions or comments about this column—or if you’d like to suggest a question for a future column, please email them to us at: us_chinaconnections@yahoo.com

如对此期刊有问询或评注－或想对以后期刊有提议，请发电给我们，　电址是：us_chinaconnections@yahoo.com。

A Fish in the Sea, A Bee in a Hive

2008-07-23T22:14:00.011-04:00

Alek Suni, a 17-year-old from Murrysville, PA, and former Mandarin student of Ming’s, has spent the last 3 months in China, traveling and working as an au pair. In the post below, he write of explosive New Year celebrations, how Beijing is like the Andes Mts., and eating baked scorpion and duck cheeks.

Alek Suni, 十七岁，从宾州Murrysville来。他是明的中文学生，前三个月在中国给人做家教。他写了一刊庆祝新年的文张。描写了北京如何象Andes山，吃烤蝎虫和鸭嘴。

BANG! goes the firecracker or M-80 or, heck, maybe its a grenade for all my ears can tell. Everybody's excited. I can't see or breathe because there is so much smoke. What seem like missiles are fired up through the tight spaces between adjacent apartment buildings. Ma Wei (my host) comes walking up to me smiling, "They almost blew up my car!" He seems rather amused by this, as do the rest of the onlookers and participants, most of whom also have cars, children or apartment windows in peril.

噼！鞭炮放了，或者是M-80. 哼，我听起来也象是手镏惮。个个都很激动。因为烟很多，我看不见动西也喘不了气。看上去象火箭的东西从窄窄的大楼之间被点放上天。马纬（我的房主）边向我走来边笑着说：“他们几乎把我的车给崩了。他好象很好玩，就如其他旁观者或放鞭炮的人。他们的车，骇子和公寓门窗大多都在风险之下。

And this is Beijing. People are crazy, but generally seem happy, especially if it’s the last day of Chinese New Year celebrations. I guess it’s possible that they are obediently happy, instead of like a Westerner who sits somewhere on a spectrum between being genuinely happy and just whining all the time. And what my dad said was true: people actually do stop in the middle of four lane highways just to lean against the trunk and discuss how to proceed from their fresh fender bender.

这就是北京。人门像似疯了，但总的来说都很快乐，特别是庆祝新年的最后一天。我猜想人门守规具似的快乐，不像西方人坐在快乐和抱怨之间。我爸爸说的是事实，有些人会停在四条高速公路中间，靠在车库上讨论如何去找到新车杠。

Because of its immense size, Beijing is sporadically chaotic. All in all, it’s a humbling place. When I walk on the street, I am just a fish in the sea. When I observe this sea from the 22nd floor of my high rise, I am a bee in a hive. People sometimes refer to sprawling metropolises as “concrete jungles,” but when I look out the window at the tiny people below and the expanse of huge buildings that stretch the horizon wider and wider until my face collides with the green-tinted pane, it seems to be more of a concrete mountain range. I would have to say that this city is nothing like a jungle, but has just the right topography--hazy but cloudless skies--and lack of foliage to remind me of the Andes.

因为它的规摸，北京有些乱糟糟的。总的来讲，这是一个谦卑的城市。当我在街上走，我是像大海里的一条小鱼。当我在我住的二十二层楼往下看，我像蜂窝中的一个小蜜蜂。有时人门说不断扩张的都市像”水泥热带森林“，但当我从绿玻璃窗往外看到小不点的人和巨大的高楼越建越远，高楼看上去更像水泥山群。我得说这城市一点也不像热带森林，但且有合适得城市风格。灰蒙蒙的，没有云采的天空。缺少绿叶使我回想到Andes.

Oh, and I guess I should tell you guys what I've been eating. Last night at dinner I chewed on hard fish eyes until the sweet juice came out. Then out came the whole baked scorpions, which stuck to my teeth. The exoskeleton is crispy, making the stinger harmless but delicious. I had three (they were small though). They are good for your health. The duck hearts were amazing! Definitely better than I expected. Livers were gross as always. There was jiaozi (dumplings) too, but of course that's not as out of the ordinary. Today for lunch I chewed on duck cheeks and then scraped the brains out of the sawed-open skull with my canines. Breakfast includes oily greens and bits of rabbit for dunking in rice soup, or twisted bread and eggs to be dipped in bean curd. Maybe one of those was a lunch...they sort of run together in my head. It’s not fruit loops, but it’s still very good. I haven't gotten sick once yet. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

哦，我应该告诉你门我吃的东西。昨晚晚饭我嚼鱼眼腈直到甜汁淌出来了。然后端出了一盘烤蝎虫。蝎虫沾在了我的牙上。虫骨头很脆，虫刺失去了扎人的功能，很好吃。我吃了三个（它门很小）。吃此很益身。鸭肝很有趣，肯定比我想像的好吃。肝脏总是很恶心。也有铰子，但不出色。今天的中饭我吃了鸭嘴，然后用牙啃吃了鸭脑。早饭吃了油乎乎的青采，一点兔肉沾在粥里吃。或吃油条和鸡蛋沾豆腐。也有可能其中之一是中饭，我脑子里已分不清了。这不是果条，但还是很好吃。止今我还没吃坏，让我门交叉手指（好运的意思）。

East Meets West

2008-05-26T10:30:00.015-04:00

US-China Information recently had the opportunity to interview Dr. Su, a Chinese doctor who's been in the States for 6 months and is now working as a medical researcher at the University of Pittsburgh. In this interview, Dr. Su graciously shares some of her experiences and reflects on life in the U.S. [In the previous post, West Meets East, American writer Kristin Bair O’Keeffe answers the same questions as Dr. Su does here.]

中美信息最近有幸采访苏医生。苏医生已居住在美国六个月，现在匹兹堡大学做医学研究。在采访中，苏医生分享她在美国的经历［在前文刊，西方与东方相遇，美国作家Kristin Bair O'Keeffe回答和苏医生同样的问询。］

US-C Information: You probably did a fair amount of research before you moved from China to the States. Of the information that you learned, what was most helpful?

中美信息：在从中国移居到美国前，你可能作了许多研究。从你找到的信息中，你觉得哪些最有用？

Dr. Su: The most important thing is to learn English because if your language isn’t good, it’s hard to communicate with native speakers. I had this problem. Usually Chinese people are good at grammar and reading and writing but poor at listening and speaking.

Also, I read a really helpful book that told all about the U.S.—explained the map of the states, told about the the weather, the university system, etc.: USA Atlas by Shaoming Li and Min Zhou.

苏医生：最重要得是学英语，因为如果你语言不好，很难和当地人交流。我遇到此问题。一般来讲，中国人语法，阅读和写作要比较好，但听力和谈话能力差。

还有，有一本很有用的书告诉了所有有关美国的信息，解释了美国地图，天气和大学制度等等。

US-C Information: What information did you not have that you wish you had had?

中美信息：什么信息你现有但你来美之前没有？

Dr. Su: If you are going to work in America, you really have to know about your field of study, and to be able to talk about it--not just about your particular area, but also about how the field as a whole is developing in the U.S. This is especially important in the sciences or medicine because they develop so fast.

苏医生：如你去美国工作，你真需精通你的专业。你要能和他人探讨不只是专门一项，而且能探讨整个行业，尤其是在快束发展的科学和医学领域。

Also, you should know a lot about China because Americans will ask you about your country— e.g., about Chinese culture and aspects of daily life such as food, sports, entertainment. . .

And: Americans ask about Chinese greetings, such as how to say “Hello. How are you?” or how to respond.

还有，你应该具有充足的中国信息，因为美国人会问你有关中国的信息。比如，有关中国的文化和日常生活象饭菜，体育和游乐等等。

再有，美国人对中文有兴趣，象怎么说：‘喂，你怎么样？’ 或怎么回答。

US-C Information: Was there any organization that helped you when you first arrived in Pittsburgh?

中美信息：当你刚到匹磁堡，有任何组织帮助你乐吗？

Dr. Su: I had several friends here who had been here for many years, and they arranged everything for me. It’s especially important to find a place to live before you come. If someone moving to the States doesn’t have friends to help them find a place to live, they can look on the Internet for a house or to find a roommate. Also: the CSSA—Chinese Students and Scholars Association—which has branches at most American universities, also offers a lot of helpful information. [For more information, visit CSSA's website.]

苏医生：我有几个朋有在这很多年了，他们给我安排好了一切。来之前找到一个住的地方特别重要。如国有人到美国之前没有认识人的话，可在网上找一个房子或找一个合住的人。还有，中国学生和学者领会在美国大多数大学都有分点，提供很多有用的信息。［如需信息，请查 CSSA's 网站。］

US-C Information: What misconceptions do Chinese have about living and working in the U.S.?

中美信息：中国人对在美国居住和工作有什么成见？

Dr. Su: Many Chinese people think that they can earn a lot more working in America than in China—that it’s easy to get rich. However, if you want to make a lot of money, you have to work very hard and work long hours.

苏医生：许多中国人认为在美国能比在中国多挣钱，很容易变的富有。但是如你真想挣很多钱，你必须很辛苦地工作和工作很多小时。

Also, before I came here, I thought that the American lifestyle was exciting, but now it seems as if it’s mostly just go to work—go home at the end of the day—come to work the next day. . . There’s not a lot of socializing with colleagues, for example. Many Chinese people in the US associate mostly with Chinese. Sometimes it’s hard to make friends with Americans.

还有，在我来美国之前，我以为美国的生活很兴份，但现在看来似乎大都是上办，下班回家，明天接者上班。。。。。。比如，同事之间没有什么交往。大多在美国的中国人都和中国人交往。有时很难和美国人交朋友。

US-C Information: What misconceptions about Chinese do many Americans have?

中美信息：美国人对中国人有什么成见？

Dr. Su: Many Americans think that Chinese in China aren’t happy. They don’t realize that China has developed enormously over the last 20 years—e.g., many Americans are surprised to learn that most Chinese people who live in the cities have cars. So, I think that Chinese visitors to the US should know a lot about China and be able to speak English well. Then, we can give Americans an accurate picture of what China is really like today.

苏医生：许多美国人认为中国人不幸福。他们没有认识到过去的二十年中国发展具大。比如，许多美国人很惊讶地发现许多住在城市的中国人有车。所以我觉的中国到美国的出访者应该拥有很多中国常识，而且会说好英文。然后我们能给美国人更切实际的中国现今报道。

US-C Information: What’s surprised you most about living in the U.S.?

中美信息：对你来说住在美国最吃惊的是什么？

Dr. Su: A few things. First of all, that I didn’t speak English as well as I thought I did! I had studied English for many years before coming here, but I didn’t understand anything! People spoke very quickly, and I was very nervous. I still have problems understanding native speakers, but it’s better. Asking people to speak slowly taking an English class, watching TV, and talking with colleagues have helped a lot.

苏医生：有几个情况。首先，我发现我的英文没有我想象的好。在我来之前，我学了好几年的英语，但我什么也不懂。人们说话很快，我很紧张。至今我还有困难听懂当地人讲话。但已经好多了。请别人讲慢点，上英语课，看电视和同同事交流对我帮助很大。

Also, I’ve been surprised by the number of churches and how active they are in the community. Many of them offer free English classes.

还有，我很惊奇地发现很多的教堂和其在社区的重要性。很多教堂提供英语课。

And: that if you’re affiliated with a university as an employee or a student, you can use all of the facilities for free—the gym, the pool, etc. That’s different than in China, where you generally have to pay to use them.

再有，如果你是大学的职员或学生，你可以免费用其设备，象键身房，游泳池等等。在中国不一样，你一般需交费使用。

US-C Information: How does the cost of living in the U.S. [in this case, Pittsburgh, PA] compare to China?

中美信息：美国的消费［这指滨州匹磁堡］和中国比如何？

Dr. Su: Electronic products are cheaper in the US, but food is cheaper in China.

苏医生：电器在美国便宜，食物在中国便宜。

US-C Information: Is public transportation easy to use?

中美信息：公共交通方便吗？

Dr. Su: I’ve been very happy with the bus system. In China, the buses are very crowded, but here you can usually sit down. Sometimes, the drivers are very nice. I remember how one day, I was waiting for the bus to the airport, but I was waiting at the wrong place. When the driver saw me standing with my luggage, rather than just driving by, he stopped the bus and asked another passenger to get off and call to me.

苏医生：我对共交很满意。在中国，共公汽车很拥挤，但在这你能找道座位。有时司机很友好。我记得有一天，我在车站等去飞机场的汽车，但我等错地方了。当司机看见我拎着行礼站在那儿，并没有开走，反儿停下车，叫一个乘客下车来叫我。

West Meets East

2008-05-26T10:21:00.011-04:00

US-China Information recently had the opportunity to interview American writer Kristin Bair O’Keeffe about her experiences living in Shanghai over the past 3 years, and we’re happy to share her responses below. [In the post above, East Meets West, Chinese Dr. Su answers the same questions as Kristin does here.]

中美信息最近有幸访问美国作家Kristin Bair O'Keeffe有关她在上海三年的经历。我们很高兴和您分享她以下的感受。［在以上的文刊，东方与西方相遇，中国苏医生回答的采问和Kristin回答的采问一样。

US-C Information: You probably did a fair amount of research before you moved from China to the States. Of the information that you learned, what was most helpful?

中美信息：在你来美国之前，你肯定做了很多的调擦研究。从中你觉的什么最有用？

Bair O’Keeffe: Actually I didn’t have a whole lot of time to do research. In late November 2005, my husband (then fiancé) and I decided to move to China. In February 2006, we got married. Six weeks later we moved. It was nuts—but loads of fun.

Bair O'Keeffe: 说实在的，我并没有很多时间做调研。在2005年十一月底，我的丈夫（那时还是未昏夫）和我决定移居到中国。在2006年二月份，我们结了昏。六个星期后，我们般到了中国。那真是不可想象，但是充满兴趣。

We did have a cultural training session (provided by my husband’s company) a few weeks before moving. Though some of the information was outdated (how could it not be? China changes faster than any other place in the universe), it was pretty helpful.

在般家之前的几个星期，我们去了我丈夫公司提供的文化习属训练班。虽然有的信息过时了（怎么会不过时？中国的变化比这个宇宙的任何其它地方都快），但还是很有用。

One of the most important aspects of Chinese culture that we learned about during the session was the concept of guanxi. Formally, guanxi is a personal connection between people that allows those people to call upon one another for favors or service. Informally, it goes a little like this: I know you and you know me and you went to school with my Uncle Carl, so therefore I can ask you to do me a favor. Then later, when you need a favor, I’ll be there for you.

Guanxi has proven to be very important in both my husband’s workplace and our private lives. You just never know when a little guanxi will get you what you need a little faster or a little more efficiently.

That said, I still don’t think there’s any amount of research that can prepare you for the experience of living in China. A two-week vacation, maybe. But to live? No way. You just have to dive in.

我们在培训课上学的最有用的中国文化之一是关系。正规的来讲，关系是人与人之间的来往，有机会互相帮忙。随便讲来，就象以下：我认识你，你和我叔叔在同一个学校上过学，所以，我可以请你帮忙。如以后你需要帮忙，我一定会回报。

事实证明关系在我丈夫的公司和我们的生活中都十分重要。你不知道什么时候一点点关系会帮助把事办的快一点，效力好一点。

即使是这样，我觉的不管你做多少调研，你也不会准备的充足。如果去中国度假两个星期还行，去住是不行的。如去住，你只好象游泳一样投进去才行。

US-C Information: What information did you not have that you wish you had had?

中美信息：你希望有的什么信息但你当时没能有？

Bair O’Keeffe: Oh gosh, I wish I’d known that our landlord wasn’t going to outfit our kitchen with dishes, pans, knives, etc. I spent the first few weeks in Shanghai chopping up sausages with my husband’s Swiss Army knife…until I sliced the heck out of my finger and made my way to IKEA for real kitchen supplies. But, of course, the misunderstanding with our landlord was caused by the language barrier…my biggest challenge in China.

I’ve been studying Mandarin since arriving in April 2006, but when I got here, the only thing I could say was ni hao (hello). Not being able to speak to people or understand what was going on around me drove me crazy. I sounded like a parrot (ni hao, ni hao, ni hao). It would have been so helpful to have studied for at least six months BEFORE moving.

Now I do pretty well. I can talk with the workmen who fix things in our apartment, make hotel reservations on the phone, chat with clerks, etc. I’m definitely not fluent, but I’m functional. This makes life in Shanghai so much more enjoyable…just being able to chat a bit and share stories with local folks.

我的天呀，我真希望我早知道我房东给我配置的锅碗瓢盆不适合我的橱房。一先几个星期在上海，我用我丈夫的瑞士小刀切肠。直到我把我的手指头切了一大刀，我才到Ikea去采购橱房用品。但是我和房东的误解是因语言不通造成的，这也是我的最大的挑战。

我从2006年到后在一直学中文。当我刚到时，我只能说‘你好’这一句话。不能沟通和听不懂别人在讲什么十分痛苦。我听上去象个鹦鹉（你好，你好，你好）。要是来之前的六个月能学点中文的话会相当有用。

现在我还可以。我可以和到我公寓来修东西的工人交流，打电话订酒店，和服务员聊天等等。我还是不流利，但我可以沟通。能和当地人聊天和分享时事，这使我在上海的日子过的有意思多了。

US-C Information: Was there any organization that helped you when you first arrived in Shanghai?

中美信息：当你刚到上海时，有任何组织帮助你了吗？

Bair O’Keeffe: The American Women’s Club offers a “newcomer” program. I participated in this, but didn’t have the greatest experience. After a few weeks, I bagged it and set about making connections in other ways—finding a writing group, attending literary readings, etc.

Finding my tribe took a lot of gumption and perseverance, but after a while, I found myself with a terrific group of friends and a growing understanding of the Chinese culture.

美中妇女俱乐部提供‘新来者’系列。我参加了，但没觉的很有帮助。几个星期后，我离开了，想法找其它方试交流，比如找个写作部，参加文学会等。

US-C Information: What misconceptions do Americans have about living and working in China?

中没信息：美国人对在中国居住和工作有什么成见？

Bair O’Keeffe: A lot of Americans still think of China as a third world country, but much of it is very far from that. Shanghai is quite modern with fancy restaurants, high fashion, thriving shopping districts, a growing middle class, and a burgeoning creative community. On the street where my apartment is, there are at least three high-end boutiques where I can have dresses made, three or four art galleries, a French wine bar, a hip café, and lots more.

许多美国人还认为中国是第三世界，但这已不切实际了。上海已是一个拥有很多高级餐馆，高级时装商场，活跃的购货中心，不断增长的中产阶层和创新社区。

US-C Information: What misconceptions about Chinese do many Americans have?

中美信息：美国人对中国人的误解是什么？

Bair O’Keeffe: Many Americans also perceive China as a totally Communist/Socialist country. While it’s true that it has a centralized government that imposes restraints upon its citizens with which we Americans are not comfortable, it is a capitalistic nation. The success of the Chinese economy in the last decade is proof of this.

很多美国人认为中国全是共产主义／社会主义的国家。实际是中央政俯控制其公民，对美国人来讲觉的很不自然，但这是一个资本主义的国家。中国前十年的经济成功是其证明。

US-C Information: What’s surprised you most about living in China?

中美信息：在中国使你最吃惊的是什么？

Bair O’Keeffe: I get surprised all the time (yes, even now, after two years in Shanghai), but one of the bigger surprises I made was how important food is here. Everything in China revolves around eating and preparing food. When people meet, they don’t say hello like we do back in the U.S. Instead they ask, “Have you eaten yet?” People are always explaining to me the different benefits of various foods—white mushrooms, onions, etc. This is good for this; that is good for that. It’s wonderful. Everyone connects over meals.

I was also surprised to learn that fireworks (giant, loud ones) are such a significant part of the Chinese New Year celebration. The way I understand it, fireworks were traditionally used during the holiday to scare away bad spirits. I guess that’s still the case because this year, the fireworks started at about 6:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve and continued almost nonstop until about 3:00 a.m. And I’m not talking about poppers or sparklers. I’m talking about the biggest, boomingest fireworks you’ve ever seen in your life. And there’s not just one set going off; there are dozens and dozens of sets going off all over the city. It’s wonderful and absolutely crazy at the same time.

我总有惊讶，（是的，即使现在，在上海住了两年后），我最惊讶的是吃饭的重要性。中国各地都围绕着吃饭和做饭。当人门相遇时，不象在美国你好的问候，人门问‘你吃饭没有？’。人们总是给我解释各种饭菜的益处，比如白蘑菇，洋葱等。这对这好，那对那好。这到是很好，大家在饭桌上沟通。

我也惊奇的学知鞭炮是（又大又响）中国新年庆祝的重要成份。我所知的是鞭炮是用来驱邪的。我想这还是没变。因为今年的鞭炮在除夕六点钟开始响，一直到早上三点钟才停。我不仅是说蹦的和出闪光的，我是说你从没见过的最大的，最响的鞭炮。我不仅是说一串，我是说一打，一打的同时放。真是美妙，同时也象疯了似的。

US-C Information: How does the cost of living in China [in this case, Shanghai] compare to the U.S.?

中美信息：中国的消费［这指在上海］和美国比如何？

Bair O’Keeffe: If I eat local food, it’s fairly cheap. But because I eat a lot of Western food and go to a lot of Western restaurants, it’s much more costly. The imported foods in grocery stores are outrageously expensive. If I buy a box of cereal that costs $4.00 in the U.S., I pay about $9.00 for it here…sometimes more, depending on the cereal.

My husband and I try to eat at our favorite Chinese restaurants as often as possible—both because we love the food and because we don’t have to carve a hole in our wallets to pay for a meal.

如我吃当地的饭菜，是相当便谊。但因为我去西餐馆吃很多西餐，这就很贵。商场的进口食品十分昂贵。如我买一盒草米，在美国是四美金，我在这儿大概付九美金。有时还更多，看你买什么洋的草米。

我和我丈夫尽量在我们喜欢的中国餐馆吃。一是我们喜欢那儿的饭菜，二是我们不需要掏空钱包来付一顿饭的钱。

US-C Information: Is public transportation easy to use?

中美信息：公共交通方便吗？

Bair O’Keeffe: The subway system in Shanghai is great. It’s clean, safe, and well organized. Thankfully all signs are in English as well as Chinese. I avoid it during the weekday rush hours—way too many people crushed up against each other—but often use it during the weekends. I have a metro card that I charge up and I can use it for all kinds of transportation in Shanghai, including the metro, taxis, and buses. (I think—though I haven’t tried—I can even pay my utility bills with it.)

I’ve never ridden a bus in Shanghai. I’m sure I could figure them out at this stage if I wanted or needed to, but they’re always packed.

上海的地铁十分方便。地铁很干净和有顺续。谢天谢地，所有的标记中英都有。我不在上下班的时候坐地铁，那时人们互相挤的厉害，但我周末坐的多。我有一张地铁卡，我可以先付钱买卡，然后我能用它来付地铁，出租和公共汽车。（虽然我没这么用过，但我觉得我可以用它来付水电费。）

我还没有乘过公共汽车。如需要的话，我现在肯定能学会坐车。公共汽车总是很挤。

[For more information about Kristin and her blog Shanghai Adventures of a Trailing Spouse, 如想得知更多有关Kristin和她blog的信息，请按click here.]

"Shanghai Adventures. . ."

2008-05-06T02:53:00.009-04:00

Nice coincidence: last week, our local paper ran a wonderful article by Kristin Bair O’Keeffe, a Pittsburgh native who, 2 years ago, moved to Shanghai with her husband and is now chronicling her experiences in the blog Shanghai Adventures of a Trailing Spouse. Kristin's recent article included descriptions of. . .
-Chinese seniors waltzing outdoors to music from a boom box;
-Shanghai’s impressive Oriental Pearl Tower--and how residents in some of the older sections of the city still use chamber pots at night because buildings lack indoor plumbing; and
-riding down the highway in a taxi driving--backwards! (See blog for details.)

Kristin’s “Shanghai Adventures. . .,” can be viewed in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette or on her website.

We thought you’d like to know about this delightful, personal look at contemporary Chinese culture.

上海探险记

巧事：上星期我们地方报刊登载了Kristin Bair O'Keeffe写的美好期刊。她出生在匹磁堡，两年前和她丈夫移居到上海。她现在在‘一个随同妻子的探险记’中连续报道她的亲身经历。Kristin的近版的期刊包括以下的细节：

－中国老人用收录机在室外跳华尔恣舞；
－上海的令人檠佩的东方珍珠塔，解释因为老房子缺少管道设备，有些老区居民晚上还用麻桶。
－乘坐的出租车在高速公路上倒行。（细节请看blog）

Kristin的‘上海探险记......‘可在匹磁堡Post-Gazette的报刊上看道或在她的blog上看道。

我们觉得您会想了解这对现今中国有趣的个人观擦。

Managing the Dragon

2008-04-14T21:14:00.013-04:00

We recently attended a talk about doing business in China given by Pittsburgh native Jack Perkowski, author and CEO of ASIMCO Technologies. The talk was held at Robert Morris University in Moon Township, PA.

Perkowski discussed his experience living in and establishing a now-thriving automotive-component business in China over the past 17 years. According to a flyer distributed at the event,

Under Perkowski's leadership, ASIMCO has established a reputation for developing local management in China and integrating a broad-based operation into the global economy. In 2005, ASIMCO was named one of the "Ten Best Employers in China."

Perkowski's talk focused on China's current and exploding role in the global economy and how American entrepreneurs/businesses can tap into it. His recently published book, Managing the Dragon: How I'm Building a Billion-Dollar Business in China, recounts his experience building his company and the cross-cultural lessons he learned while doing so.

Perkowski's presentation demonstrated a strong understanding of and appreciation for Chinese culture. For example, he amusingly recalled having eaten "every part of every animal" served to him at business meals.

Like his informative and enjoyable talk, Perkowski's book would be a valuable resource to anyone interested in learning more about, or doing business in, China today.

Beyond Chopsticks and Forks: Table Manners, Part 2

2008-03-30T19:57:00.011-04:00

More Thoughts on Chinese Table Manners

-by Ming

Fish Heads & Chicken Feet

One of the most interesting parts of getting to know a country is exploring the tastes, smells, and colors of its cuisine. During your time in China, you’ll probably encounter many new dishes and ways of serving them. For example, when Americans visit China, they’re often surprised to be served a chicken with the feet still attached or a fish with the head still on. (This custom derives from an old belief that it’s good luck to serve them whole.) If you don’t want to try a particular food, you should just accept it but then leave the item on your plate, making sure to eat a generous amount of other food that you do like so that your host doesn’t feel as if he/she hasn’t done enough for you.

“Over-ordering” in Restaurants?

I do like the relatively simple style of dining in the States: one main course along with a soup/side dish plus a dessert. Even so, and even though I’ve lived in the U.S. for many years, when having guests for dinner, I still feel compelled to prepare many dishes, following the Chinese custom. When I travel for business and go to dinner with co-workers who are familiar with my tendency to over-order, they still remind me to not over-order!

Drinking Alcohol

Drinking customs in China and the U.S. differ. For example, Chinese consider it courteous for each person at a gathering to invite a guest to drink with them. As a result, it’s easy for a visitor to end up drinking more than they intended; this is especially important to keep in mind since alcoholic beverages in China are more potent than in the U.S. When my husband and I visit China, we always tell people that we don’t drink much and then just drink teeny sips with each toast. Accept your hosts’ gesture with good humor, and you’ll have a great time.

When participating in a toast in China, you should put the rim of your glass lower than that of the person who is doing the toast to signal respect. You might hear the expression “Ganbei!”--the Chinese equivalent of “Bottoms up!” If you’re being toasted, in addition to saying “Xiexie” (“thank you”), you can gently tap the rim of the table in front of you with the bottom of your glass. If you’re the one doing the toast, your host will be very happy if you stand up to toast them individually—or, better still, walk around the table to stand near them as you give the toast.

Seating Arrangements

Rank and age still play a very important role in Chinese social settings, and seating arrangements signal important things about relationships. The seat facing the main entrance is usually reserved for the most honored person--generally the oldest person or a person with the highest position within the group. If you’re a guest for the first time, take the seat that your host offers.

A Final Word of Advice

Whenever you have a chance to be a guest in China or of a Chinese family anywhere, always be open-minded and arrive with a hearty appetite. The Chinese have had thousands of years to perfect delicious dishes that will both please your taste buds and offer you a culinary adventure unlike those offered anywhere else in the world.

Customs for an American Dinner Party

-by Nancy

Ming’s post (immediately above) describes some of the ways that dining customs differ between the US and China. In this post, I offer a brief description of the customs associated with dinner parties in the U.S.

Once a guest arrives, the host usually offers them a drink, introduces them to the other guests, and then everyone sits in the living room and converses for a few minutes before dinner.

When dinner is ready and guests are invited into the dining room, the host may either direct them to particular seats or suggest that they sit wherever they like. [Note that the chairs at the head and foot of the table are generally used by the hosts.]

When the host sits down and puts their napkin on their lap, the guests do the same. Then, guests serve themselves from the serving dishes on the table and pass the food to the person sitting next to them. Once everyone is served , the host will usually say something like “Shall we begin?” or “Bon appetit” (French for “Good appetite.”), and everyone begins eating. (Note that it’s considered rude to start eating before everyone is served.)

If wine is being served with the dinner, the host will usually pour wine throughout the meal for the guests who want it. Water or ice water is also generally served with the meal. Tea is usually offered at the end of the meal but can also be requested by the guest.

As the dinner progresses, it’s common for the guests to compliment the host about one or more of the dishes and for the host to make sure that the guests have as much as they want to eat.

After everyone has finished eating, the host usually clears the dishes; guests may offer to help. After the table is cleared, the host will probably ask if anyone would like tea or coffee. Note that tea and coffee are often served with milk and sugar for those who prefer to drink it that way. Then, a dessert is usually served.

At the end of the meal, the guests usually thank the host for the dinner, and everyone moves to the living room, where the conversation continues.

The day following the dinner, guests may call, email, or write a note to the host to thank them again for their hospitality.

Beyond Chopsticks and Forks: Table Manners, Part 1

2008-03-22T20:54:00.045-04:00

Today's post deals with table manners in China and the U.S. The topic will be continued in our next post.

今天的期刊是关于中国和美国的台礼。此题在下期会继续探讨。

Chinese Table Manners 中国的台礼

-by Ming

Chopsticks, anyone?

Chinese people are very skillful with chopsticks, but sometimes when Westerners visit, they find it quite a task to handle the two sticks, let alone use them to pick up small items such as beans or grains of rice. When I first arrived in the States, it felt similarly awkward to use a fork to eat or to use a knife to cut large pieces of food (e.g., meat) rather than lifting the piece to my mouth and using my teeth. Of course, now I know that this is considered rude in the States, but in China, it's considered normal since you can’t use chopsticks to cut some types of food.

谁要筷子吗？

中国人用筷子很有技术。但当西方人探访中国时，有时觉的很难对付这两根木棍，更别提去用这两根木棍去笳象豆子或米粒了。当我刚到美国时，我也同样觉的用叉子吃饭或用刀切大块食品很不方便，比如说肉，而不用牙齿来咬。当然现在我知道用牙来咬在美国是不文明的。但在中国是很正常的，因为你不能用筷子来切有些食品。

Plates, Bowls, and Eating Soup 盘子，碗，和喝汤

In China, plates are used to serve shared (generally stir-fried) dishes, and bowls are used to serve individual portions. Most of the time, rice, the main staple, is served in individual bowls. Soups are also served in individual bowls and are either eaten with a spoon or sipped directly from the bowl. Although in the U.S., it’s not considered good manners to drink directly from the bowl, in China, it's the norm. Also, sipping the soup loudly is considered good manners since it signals to your host that you’re enjoying the soup. In the States, soup is served as a first course, but in China, it’s served as the last.

在中国，盘子是用来盛菜（一般是抄菜）的，碗是用来捡菜吃的。通常来说，米饭是主食，是盛在各自碗里的。虽然在美国从碗里直接喝汤是不文明的，在中国却是很正常。而且，喝汤带声表示你很喜欢主人做的汤。在美国，汤先上桌，但在中国，汤最后上。

Serving Utensils

When you’re in China, you’ll often see people use their individual set of chopsticks to take food from a serving dish. Although more and more young people and business people have adopted the practice of using shared serving spoons instead, you can see many people who still follow the old custom. If a dish is presented and you don’t see a serving spoon, you can politely request a serving spoon to let others know what you prefer, but please don’t get upset if one of your dining companions forgets to use it. When I’m in China and dining with others, I usually use clean chopsticks to serve myself first. (Guests are expected to serve themselves first.) Traditionally, it’s even considered hospitable for a person to use his/her chopsticks to put food into the bowl of a guest. You can decide whether to eat that food or not. Customs change slowly, and sometimes a host’s desire to be welcoming overrides other concerns.

A Multitude of Dishes

In Chinese culture, you’ll always see one dish after another arrive at the table. This aspect of Chinese hospitality might surprise you as an American. However, the custom of serving many (15, 20, or more) dishes is thousands of years old, so accept it graciously and bring a big appetite.

****************

U.S. Table Manners

-by Nancy

As I think about table manners, two things come to mind:

1. how universal certain elements of hospitality are—e.g., when a host, serving guests first or, when a guest, being willing to try all of the dishes; and

2. how culturally specific other elements of dining etiquette are—e.g., the Chinese custom of slurping soup to show that you enjoy it or the American custom of adding salt or pepper to food, which might strike Chinese as equally impolite.

In preparing this post, I happened to consult Craig Clairborne’s Elements of Etiquette to refresh my memory about certain American customs of more formal dining. Although, as I was growing up, my mother made sure that my siblings and I learned formal dining customs, some of the customs were, like the “good china,” only used on special occasions—weddings, formal dinners, etc. My current sense of good manners is influenced by a general embracing of simplicity.

Recognizing that table manners, like all customs, signify respect for the group to which one belongs—or is visiting—I’d like to recap (with some gentle reminders from Mr. Clairborne) the table manners that I learned as I was growing up. I hope that Chinese visitors to the U.S. will find them helpful.

Instructions I Heard as a Young Child

“Sit up straight. . . Put your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. . .Wait until grace is done before you start eating. . . Don’t smack. . . Don’t slurp. . . Don't talk with your mouth full. . .Excuse yourself if you burp. . .Keep your elbows off the table. . . Put your knife on the outside of the fork when you cut. . . Say “please pass the salt”. . .Keep your knife on the rim of your plate after you use it. . .Fold your napkin after you use it (so that others can’t see where you wiped your mouth). . .Don’t interrupt adults’ conversation. . .Don’t twirl your fork in the air. . .Clear the table before having dessert. . .Wait until everyone’s done before you get up. . . Ask to be excused before you get up. . . ”

Instructions I Learned for Formal Dining (e.g., When Attending a Wedding or Business Dinner, or When Hosting a Formal Meal)

“Wait until the host starts putting on his/her napkin before you do . . Use the fork or spoon on the outside first. . . Put a pat of butter on your plate, then tear off a small piece of bread and butter it. . . If you have to leave for a minute, gently lay your napkin to the left of your plate. . . Serve food from the left, beverages from the right. . . Clear from the right. . . Serve the guest first. . . Clear the table before serving dessert.”

As noted in the last post—“Hugs or Handshakes?”—an open and friendly manner can help compensate for any social gaffes that you might make when dining in another culture. When in doubt about how to act in an unfamiliar situation—whether meeting some for the first time, dining, or anything else, the following quote may be a helpful guide:

Good manners may in Seven Words be found: Forget Yourself and think of Those Around

-Arthur Gutterman
(quoted in Elements of Etiquette by Craig Clairborne)

Hugs or Handshakes?

2008-03-10T20:34:00.023-04:00

Meeting new people from other countries is exciting, but it can also be very challenging since different cultures have different customs. Handshakes are usually appropriate in China, whether meeting a person for the very first time or the fiftieth time. If you know the person very well. you could also add a pat on the back. In China, unlike the U.S., most people are not used to hugs since hugging is not part of the custom. Also, regardless of their age, parents and children or friends of the same sex, especially women, often hold hands in public. Except for fathers and sons, men don't usually hold hands but might put their arms across each other's shoulders as they walk.

If you're American, you'll probably feel very awkward if a Chinese friend of the same sex tries to hold your hand when you are walking together. What should you do? You either can "do as the Romans do" or kindly tell your friend that you aren't comfortable doing this. I find it notable that now, after living in the States for 20 years, I don't feel as comfortable holding hands with my Chinese friends when I visit China as I used to.

As a native Chinese, I've gotten used to greeting friends and relatives with a hug, and now I enjoy the custom very much. Everyone's preference is different, and over time we all tend to assimilate into the new culture, each of us at our own pace. Some of my Chinese friends who have lived in the States for many years are still not used to hugs and may never be. Consequently, awkward situations have occasionally occurred when I've invited friends over for dinner. To prevent problems, I've simply explained to my husband's family that some of my Chinese friends aren't used to hugging. I've found that communication and accepting each other's cultures and customs are generally the keys to preventing potentially uncomfortable situations.

When you're visiting Chinese friends, to be on the safe side, always shake hands unless you know that hugging is a better alternative. The other person's body language can help you make the right choice in most situations. You'll always get a handshake if you extend a hand towards the person you're meeting.

In addition to shaking hands, some older Chinese like to bow slightly when meeting someone for the first time. You should respond similarly. As in all cultures, customs in China change over time. Bowing isn't currently as common as it was fifty or sixty years ago. And as more and more younger people are exposed to Western culture, they start to learn different customs and accept them. For example, twenty years ago, Chinese couples didn't usually hold hands in public, but now it's natural for young people to hold hands when walking down the street.

When you first meet someone, an easy and universally understood gesture is to offer a friendly smile. Learning a few words in the other person's native language can also help get things off to a good start. Over time, we'll introduce some simple Chinese/English phrases to help you make this gesture of friendship. Until then...

Zaijian! ("Tsai jien"! ) Bye for now!

Ming

相见其他国家的人是令人振奋的，但也可以非常具有挑战性，因为不同的文化有不同的习俗。握手，通常在中国是很正常，无论是第一次与人相见还是相见了很多次。如果互相之间很熟，您也可以拍一下对方的肩膀。在中国，不像美国，大多数人不习惯拥抱，因为拥抱不是中国的习俗。此外，不论年龄，父母与子女之间或同一性别的朋友之间，尤其是女性之间，往往在公共场所谗着手。除了父亲和儿子，男人通常不谗手，但有可能互相搭肩共行。

如果您是美国人，一个中国的同性朋友要搀着您的手，您可能会觉得很尴尬。您应该怎么办呢？您可以“入乡随属”或好心的告诉您的朋友，您不习惯这样做。我发现在美国生活了近20年后，在我回国的时候，我也不习惯与我的中国朋友搀手了。

作为一个本土的中国人，我已经习惯用拥抱来问候的朋友和亲戚，我很喜欢拥抱的习俗。每个人的偏好是不同的，随着时间的推移，我们每个人都安照自己的进度来吸收新的文化。我的一些中国朋友在美国住了狠多年，还不习惯拥抱，有可能永远也不会习惯。因此，在我邀请朋友吃饭的时候，尴尬的情况也会偶尔发生。以访尴尬，我给我丈夫的家人做些简解，因为我的一些中国朋友不习惯拥抱。我发现沟通和接受对方的文化和习俗是防止尴尬情况的最好的办法。

当您访问中国朋友的时候，握手是最好的礼节，除非你知道对方更喜欢拥抱。在大多数情况下，人们的表情可以帮您做出准确的选择。在您相见人的时候，如果您伸出手，您总会得到一个握手。

除了握手，一些老年的中国人相见时喜欢鞠躬。你应该也鞠躬回应。象所有其它的文化，中国的习俗也在随时间而改变。鞠躬不象50或60年前那么普遍了。随着越来越多的年轻的人有机会接触西方文化，他们也开始学习和接受不同的习属。举例来说，二十年前，中国的夫妇，很少在公共场所搀手，但现在的年青人搀手在街上走是十分正常的。

当您第一次和生人见面，一个友好的微笑是最容易和互相理解的见面方试。学几句对方的本土语言，可以帮助您打开一个良好的开端。随着时间的推移，我们将介绍一些简单的中文/英文短语，以帮助您完善友好的表示。到那时...

暂时先说再见！

明

When I was a little girl, I was taught that when meeting an adult for the first time, I should: 1. look the person in the eye, 2. smile and shake his/her hand, and 3. say "How do you do." Over time, the custom has changed a bit (e.g., people generally say "It's nice to meet you" instead of "How do you do"), but I still like shaking someone's hand when I meet them for the first time and appreciate the information that a handshake can convey at any time--information about the other person's intention, character, health, openness, etc. I suppose that that's one reason why the handshake has remained the customary greeting/parting in the U.S. within the business world and why it's appropriate when meeting someone for the first time in other situations within the U.S. as well.

Although nowadays hugs are widely used in social situations, to some people (especially those who grew up in families where members kiss instead of hugging) the custom, though appreciated, may still not seem completely familiar. To these people, the norm is still: shaking hands in formal relationships or when meeting someone for the first time, a kiss on the cheek for a relative or close friend, and a handshake or wave for a casual friend or acquaintance (e.g., neighbor or co-worker). In my case, because of the family I grew up in, and because I spent a dozen years socializing with Latin Americans, for whom I kiss on the cheek is the normal greeting, the custom of hugging is one that I--like Ming--have learned, and come to appreciate, only as an adult. Even though it's common for good friends and relatives to hug, that's not the case in other types of relationships. For example, it would probably be considered inappropriate for people in a business relationship to hug.

In addition to handshakes and hugs, there are many gestures that are used with greetings/partings: the pat on the back, the so-called "fist bump," the kiss on the cheek (for friends), the kiss on the lips (for intimates), etc. And, like everything in life, customs regarding these gestures are evolving. But that's not all: customs regarding gestures used with greetings and partings (e.g., hugs and handshakes) don't just vary from person to person; they also vary with regard to other factors such as the relative age of the two speakers, their genders, the setting where the people encounter each other, etc.

With all of the variables involved in understanding the customs of another country, it's sometimes hard to know the right thing to do. However, with time and exposure, you'll learn, and grow familiar with, the customs of the groups you associate with. Meanwhile, keep the information above in mind, and--as Ming suggested--remember that a smile and a gesture of respect and friendship can create a reservoir of understanding and trust that you can draw on even when you unintentionally violate any custom.

Bye for now. (Zaijian.)

Nancy

当我还是一个小女孩，在和成人第一次相遇时，我应采取下列措施： 1 。看着对方的眼睛， 2 。微笑和握手，3 。说“你好吗” 。随着时间的推移，习属已经改变了一点（例如，一般人说： “很高兴见到你” ，而不是“你好吗” ），当我与人会面时，我还是喜欢握手。我喜欢握手时所显示的对方的意图，性格，健康壮态，公开性，等等。我想那也是握手的习惯在美国被一直保持下来的原因之一，不管是在做生意时，还是在和人第一次相遇。

虽然今天拥抱是很普遍，有些人（尤其是那些出生在家庭成员用亲吻而不是拥抱的家庭的人）对拥抱的习俗，和亲戚或亲密朋友，在面颊给一个吻。和随便的朋友或熟人握手或挥手（例如，邻居或同士）。用我打比方，因为我的家庭，我花了十几年与拉丁美洲人社交，在脸颊亲吻是正常的习属。拥抱的习俗，我和明一样是在成人后通过了解来学会欣赏的。即使在相见好朋友和亲戚时用拥抱很正常，在其它场合并非如此。例如，拥抱在业务上会显得不恰当。

除了握手和拥抱，还可以用许多其它的手势来表示问候/告别：拍肩，撞拳头， ”吻脸颊（朋友），吻嘴唇（亲密的人）等等。就象日常生活，习属表示也在不断变化。但是，还不止这些：有关习属的问候和告别（例如，拥抱和握手）不仅是各有千秋，也因其它不同的因素影响，比如相对的年龄，性别，相遇的场合，等等。

因为这些因素，有关他国的习属，有时很难知道正确的做法。然而，随着时间和交往，您会学会
，慢慢地熟悉其他人的习属。同时，记住以上的信息，就象明讲的，微笑和显示出对对方的尊重和友好，可以建成一个了解和信任的湖泊。既使您在当你无意地伤害了其他人时，您可以从中抽到信任的水源。

再见！

Welcome to US-China Information

2008-03-01T22:08:00.008-05:00

As the cultural distance between the U.S. and China "shrinks," and individuals have more opportunities for contact--both in person and through the Internet--differences between customs and expectations remain. Although exposure to another culture can be exciting, occasionally, cultural differences can cause misunderstandings and frustrations that complicate personal or business relationships.

As individuals who have experienced these feelings and gained insights from them, we hope our blog will provide you with useful information.

当中美的文化差距在“缩短”，人们有更多的机会去交流，不管是亲身体会还是通过网站交流，风俗和设想的差距仍然存在。虽然接触另种文化很兴奋，但偶而文化的差距会引起个人和企业之间的误解和不快。

我们经历过这些挫折，从中得到了见解，以此希望我们的 blog 会给您提拱有用的信息。

-Ming & Nancy