. The book reflects Ms. Bowman’s experience as founder of Protocol Consultants International and her position as a well known etiquette expert. Rather than seeing business etiquette as a “quaint display of good manners,” she—and her many clients in the U.S. and abroad—instead see it as an all-important set of signals that show respect, inspire confidence, and earn trust in order to advance a business relationship. Written for business people, Don’t Take. . . offers valuable information for any professional relationship. We asked Judith about what her extensive experience with international clients has taught her. Excerpts from the interview—and quotes from her very interesting and accessible book--follow.明和Nancy:有机会电话采访写商务新礼仪这本畅销书的作者：朱迪思.鲍曼。这书反应出朱迪思.鲍曼有名的对商务礼仪的经验和国际咨讯公司创始人的特殊专长。她和她的美外客户对表示尊敬，激发信心和取得信认不看成是商务礼仪的‘礼貌的摆示’，而认为是加强商业关系的重要信号。专门为商界人士所写，商务新礼仪之书给职业关系提供不可估价的信息。我们问朱迪思有关她对国际客户的广交经验教了她什么。以下是从和她的采访中的摘录和她有趣及易读书中的引述。
Ming & Nancy: You’ve dealt with a wide range of clients, both American and international. Have you found that there are any rules of etiquette that apply for all cultures?
明和Nancy : 你和许多美外客户打交道，是否注意到有统一的礼仪所有的文化可以通用？
Judith: Well, you know, etiquette is really just based on the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. In the 17th century, at the time of King Louis XIV, “etiquettes” were signs telling visitors to keep off the castle lawn—they functioned as boundary markers that allowed the visitors to enjoy their visit by indicating expected behavior. And etiquette, as a code of expected behavior, serves the same function today: once people know the acceptable codes of correct behavior, they can focus on, and enjoy, other social activities. In contemporary French, the word “etiquette” means “ticket” or “label,” and-- in the same way and throughout the world--etiquette, as a set of polite behaviors, labels a person and functions as their ticket into a particular world. Basically etiquette is a way to show respect and consideration for others. And to recognize that even little things are significant.
朱迪思：你知道，礼仪是根倨对待别人像你自己喜欢被对待的金则一样。在十七世纪，赂伊厮十四王帝说：‘礼仪’好似告知访者不要上城堡绿地的标记。也作为允许来访者享乐的僵界。礼仪，作为行为准则，现今有同样的功能。一旦人们知道去接受正确的行为准则，他们就能关注，享受其它的社交活动。在当今法语，‘礼仪’之词表示‘门票’或‘标牌’的意思。同样，世界各地，礼仪是一套礼貌的准则，标牌一个人。也起门票的功能，可允许你进如特殊社交圈。基本来讲，礼仪是表示对他人的尊敬和照顾。为达到那一步，既使小事也十分重要。
[From Chapter 1, “Little Things Mean a Lot”--There is nothing little about the little things in business. . . ]
（第一章：小事有很大影响，在生意上是没有微不足道的小事的）
Ming & Nancy: American culture is less than 300 years old. Chinese culture has existed for over 5,000. Has it been difficult for you to help Americans understand the culture and etiquette of such an ancient culture, or to help Chinese clients understand the customs of the United States?
明和Nancy:美国历史还不到３００年。中国有５０００多年的历史。帮助美国人去理解这么悠久的古老文化和礼仪，或去帮助中国客户来理解美国的风土人情，你觉得是有困难吗？
Judith: I think that, especially when you’re dealing with an international context, etiquette always involves being aware of customs and taking the time to learn about the practices and rituals of the other person’s culture.
朱迪思:尤其从国际 情竟角度上看，我认为礼仪总是和注重风土人情，耐心向其它文化学习它们的实践和礼节。
[Chapter 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”--Making] the effort to learn about the culture and traditions of their target country will. . . earn you respect [by] demonstrating respect for your counterpart’s culture and traditional ways.]
（第１３章：国际礼仪－努力学习目标国家的文化和传统会获得敬重。以此表示对对方文化和传统的尊敬。
Judith: In trying to understand other cultures, I think it’s also helpful to keep in mind the distinction between what anthropologist Edward T. Hall calls “high-context” cultures, like China and most of Asia, and “low-context cultures,” associated with Western cultures like American culture. According to Hall, high-context cultures value group effort, rely on nonverbal cues, and—especially—tend to conduct business only after 2 or 3 initial meetings during which the people get to know and trust each other. These meetings allow a Chinese person to evaluate a visitor and are very important since they form the basis for a any successful business relationship in the future. Low-context cultures, by contrast, tend to be more individualistic, emphasize verbal communication, and—having a “here and now” orientation—expect to get down to business at the first meeting.
朱迪思:试着去理解其他文化，我认为时时记住如人类学家爱德化.霍儿所叫的高情竟的区别是十分有用的。象中国和大部分亚洲国家都是‘高情竟’，西方文化如美国文化是‘低情竟’。根据华儿所说，高情竟的文化珍视集体成就，依靠非言词的提示，尤其是等到２－３次会面后有了互相了解而产生信任后才做生意。这些会面允许中国人来衡量来访者。这是非常重要的，因为这是未来生意关系成功的基础。相比来说，低情竟强调个人主义，重视语言沟通，和有’此时此地'的趋向。希望在第一次见面就做生意。
[From Ch. 13: “Travel & International Etiquette”-- In the world, there are two types of cultures known as high context and low context cultures. . . Both cultures represent different ways of conceptualizing and communicating, including language, verbal and nonverbal communication, customs, perceived values, and perceptions regarding time and space.”]
（第１３章：国际礼仪。在世界上有高情竟和低情竟的两种文化。这两种文化代表不同的思考和沟通方式，包括语言，语言表达或无言表达，风俗习惯，观察价值和对时间和空间的概念。
Ming & Nancy: What other differences in business customs arise from these different orientations?
明和Nancy:从此不同的倾向，还产生其他做生意不同的习俗吗？
Judith: Actually, there are many. For instance, since China is a high-context culture which is team-oriented and stresses group membership, successful business relationships always begin with the introduction of individuals at the same level in their respective companies by an all-important mutually respected third party. In fact, getting a first meeting in most cultures other than the U.S. usually requires this sort of contact.
朱迪思:实际上，有很多不同习俗。比如，中国是高情竟的文化，注重小组和团体。成功的商业关系总是有第三者来介绍同等职位的公司人员。实际中，除了美国之外，大多文化要求第三者来组织第一次会面。
Another thing that often surprises Americans engaged in any international business, not just in China, is the importance of gifting. It’s really important to know who and when to gift.
另外，使不仅在中国做生的美国国际生意人惊讶的是送礼的重要性。知道送礼的对相和时机是相当重要的。
Ming & Nancy: What kind of gift do you generally suggest?
明和Nancy:一般你推荐什么礼物？
Judith: You know, gifting is really an art unto itself. You really have to put some thought into it—and be aware of cultural taboos that could offend the person who will receive the gift: e.g., a certain color that has negative associations, or a certain number that is considered unlucky. I often suggest giving something that reflects the client’s state or country—e.g., some music, maybe a CD of an orchestra from the client’s home state, presented in a monogrammed leather or silver case. A coffee table book is also a good idea.
朱迪思:你知道，送礼真是一门学问。你真得好好思考。而且要注意的习俗的禁忌有可能冒犯收礼的人。比如某些颜色和数字有不吉利的影示。我经常推荐礼物代表客户的洲或国家。比如音乐，可是客户的家乡音乐CD, 用有雕刻字的皮盒或银盒来装。送放在咖啡桌上的书也是一个好主意。
One other thing Americans should know is that entertainment is a very important part of the business protocol in China. International clients or prospective business partners may be honored with one, or even several, lovely and very formal dinners—banquets really. Sitting around a round table, guests are presented with as many as 20 courses, each one described ceremoniously as it is presented—e.g., “This is an extremely rare mushroom soup,” or “This is a special delicacy: rooster feet. . . .” Many servers stand by attentively throughout the meal, graciously serving with both hands and illustrating the emphasis on ceremony that’s typical of China.
美国人还要知道娱乐是中国做生意的很重要的一部分。国际客户和有希望合作的商业合作人会得到一次或很多次的象宴会似的招待。坐在圆桌上，会有２０多道菜。每上一道菜都得到很礼节性的介绍。比如，‘这是十分稀少的磨菇汤。’或‘这是特殊的佳肴：公鸡的脚。’很多服务员在一旁专心招待，用双手礼貌的端菜端饭，反印出中国特殊注重礼节的形象。
Nancy: And should the visitor acknowledge the hospitality by trying to reciprocate during their visit? Or just acknowledge the hospitality after they’ve returned home? What do you recommend?
Nancy:那客户在访问期间是否应同样回待客家表示感谢？或回去后再表示感谢？你推荐哪种？
Ming: Usually, guests are expected to acknowledge the hospitality they’ve received by offering to host, or gift, a banquet for their host.
明:一般来讲，客户应对东道主有表示，邀请吃饭或送礼物。
Judith: I’d like to add that the visitor should quietly arrange to take care of the bill in advance in order to avoid an awkward moment, eliminating any chance of the bill appearing at the table.
朱迪思:我还要提出客户应该提前安排好付帐单，以免帐单出现在桌子上的尴尬情境。
Ming & Nancy: Given that entertaining is such a big part of business, have you encountered any other cross-cultural “etiquette challenges” with regard to dining?
明和Nancy:看来娱乐是做生意如此重要的一部分，你遇到过其它在宴会时文化交流的’礼仪挑战‘吗？
Judith: Yes. One of the biggest shocks to me when I was in China—and Americans need to know about this—is to be prepared for noises--lots of slurping, elbows on the table, etc., even at formal meals. I remember one particular banquet, hosted by the Mayor of Beijing. I was trying to eat noodles the way I would in the States—sitting up straight, keeping my left hand in my lap, and using the chopsticks to lift the noodles to my mouth, but my American manners were completely inappropriate. Luckily, my Japanese partner, who was our intermediary, caught my eye and very subtly demonstrated to me how to eat noodles by putting the bowl up to my mouth and “shoveling” them in with chopsticks. It’s important to be aware of customs and to demonstrate respect for your host’s culture by making an attempt to follow them.
朱迪思:遇到过。美国人需要作好准备的是吃饭时的声音，这也是我在访问中国时最吃惊的。吃饭时有很多喝汤的声音，胳膊肘放在桌子上，即使在很正式的场合都有。我特别记得由北京市长主持的一次宴会。我试着象在美国时吃面条，坐的直背直腰，把左手放在膝盖上，用筷子挑面条放进嘴里。但是我的美国举止方式是根本不合适的。幸好，我的中间人日本股东看到后，很不引起注意地让我看他如何拿起碗放到嘴边，用筷子把面条‘铲’到嘴里去。意识到风俗习惯和表示对东道主的尊敬试着跟他们去做是十分重要的。
[From Ch. 7: Dining Skills—“There is nothing more ordinary than the business meal; however, whether much business is conducted or not, the table can be both an opportunity and a minefield. . .”]
（第７章：吃饭技巧。商业饭局是很经常的。但是，有没有做到生意，饭桌可变成良机或埋下地雷。）
Ming & Nancy: Can you give an example of one area where problems may occur because the visitor isn’t aware of the customs?
明和Nancy:你能给举个有关客户不知道东道主的风俗习惯而产生问题的例子吗？
Judith: Well, often problems arise with the use of “yes” and “no.” In some cultures, like Japan and China, people will avoid saying the word “no” for risk of offending and will instead say something like “This may not be possible.”
朱迪思:好的。经常出现问题的是和用’是‘和’不‘有关。在一些文化中，如日本和中国，人们避免说’不‘字，以防冒犯东道主，会说‘这不太可能。’
[From Ch. 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”—“[Members of many Asian cultures like China or Japan] will never say no. Because they are a most gracious culture,. . . they will say “Perhaps not at this time” or “This may not be possible.” Read between the lines and understand this subtlety really means no way. . .”]
第１３章：’国际礼仪‘。很多象中国和日本的亚洲文化不会说不字。因为这些文化是最优美的文化，他们会说‘没准这次不行’或‘这可能不行。’试着深入表面，懂得这些含蓄的回答实际是在说绝不可能。‘
Judith: Also, it’s important to be aware that many things like jokes and gestures are culturally specific. What’s funny or symbolic in one country may not be or may have an entirely different meaning in another. Even gestures can mean different things in different cultures. For example, exposing the soles of one’s feet is seen as extremely insulting in many countries, including China. One other area of possible confusion is personal space, or the “comfort zone” between two speakers that is perceived as comfortable. For Americans, it’s usually one arm’s length, but in Asia it’s more like three arms lengths, so this can cause problems.
朱迪思:还有，懂得很多笑话和手势是和文化形影不离的。在一个国家好笑的或有意义的举动， 在另一个国家有可能会有全然不同的意义。甚至举止也可能有不同的意义。比如，展示脚心在很多国家，包括中国，都很不礼貌。另一个容易引起混淆的是个人空间，或两个说话人之间的’舒服区‘。对美国人来讲，一般是一胳膊的距离，但在亚洲，大多超过三个胳膊的距离，这有可能产生问题。
[From Chapter 13, “Travel & International Etiquette”—“Personal space is to be respected at all costs. Please know that personal space. . . varies [from country to country].”]
（第１３章：国际礼仪。’个人空间应该不惜成本去尊敬。请注意个人空间可因国家而不同。‘）
Nancy: Exactly. I remember teaching English to international students and running into problems with this same issue when, e.g., a Latin American and a Japanese student would be acting out a dialog in the front of the room: They’d start in the middle of the room, but pretty soon they’d start moving across the room--as the Asian moved back to create more personal space and the Latin tried to move closer to establish less personal space.
Nancy:十分正确。我记得在我教国际学生英语时也遇到同样的情境。例如，一个拉丁美洲的学生和一个日本学生在教室前排演。他们在教室中间开始的，但很快他们就开始往一边移。当亚洲人往后移来争取更多个人空间，拉丁人试着去移近来减少个人空间。
Judith: When I went to China, I was very aware of these different perspectives on personal space, so, I was surprised to see Chinese approach foreigners and request to have their picture taken with them and then put their arm around the visitors as if they were close friends.
朱迪思:当我去中国时，我很熟悉不同的个人空间感。我很惊讶的看到中国人去问外国人，要求和他们一起照像，还把胳膊放在外国人肩上，好似他们是好朋友。
Ming: I think that this kind of thing happens because China is undergoing major cultural changes and so some Chinese people may adopt elements of American culture. Generally, though, I think that the occasion will define what’s appropriate—e.g., more personal space for a business meeting but less for a casual setting or a photo.
明: 我认为这种情景出现是因为中国在经历很大的文化变迁。有些中国人会接受一些美国文化。一般来讲，我认为此事此境会决定什么是合适举动。比如说，生意上用更多个人空间，在比较随便的场合，象照相，就少一些个人空间。
Judith: Yes, but even so, boundaries still pertain. I remember a photo taken with the Mayor of Beijing and and various senior-level people where another, overly-enthusiastic, American visitor grabbed the Mayor of Beijing and put him in a football-style headlock, with his arm around the Mayor’s neck, something that was completely inappropriate.
朱迪思:对。即使如此，还应有间线。我记得和北京市长及其他高级职位的官员照相时，一个过分热情的美国人一把用胳膊把市长的脖子给搂住了，象打橄榄球一样。这样的举动是绝对不合适的。
One other area of cultural overlap is with regard to names. In China, surnames traditionally come before given names--not after, as in the States. However, in recent years, Chinese business people—or those who deal with Westerners on a regular basis, sometimes adopt the American custom and reverse the order, which can sometimes leave the visitor wondering which name is which. When in doubt, always ask. And sometimes Chinese people even take on an American name such as Tom or David to accommodate Western visitors. This is just one of countless things Chinese do to be gracious.
另一个要注意的地方是名字。在中国，家姓传统是在名之前，不是在后，象美国是在名之后。但是，最近，中国的生意人，或那些和西方人打交道的人，有时会采用美国风俗习惯，会把家姓放在名之后。这会导致来访者很多困惑， 不知哪是名，哪是姓。在困惑时，最好问询。而且，有时中国人会取美国名字，象大为或汤母来接纳西方来访人员。这只是中国人好客的无数例子之一。
[Ch. 2, “Introductions”—“Your best bet is to be direct and quietly ask. . . If you ask with sincerity, much is forgiven as you will demonstrate your desire to be appropriate and respectful.”]
（第２章：介绍。你最好的做法是直接并小声地问。如你问时带着诚恳的态度，那么万事多可原谅。因为你想要表示合适行为和尊敬。）
Judith: Tipping seems to be another area where customs are changing. For example, older Chinese may consider tipping insulting, but many younger Chinese have adapted to American ways and are happy to accept tips. One would not be chased out the door for a tip, but there’s an acute awareness of tipping. Many restaurants, and even some cab drivers, now add a gratuity, as in Europe.
朱迪思:给小费也在变化。例如，稍老些的中国人会认为给他小费会觉得是侮辱，但很多年青人已接纳了美国的方式，会十分高兴地接受小费。你不会因为不给小费而被赶出去，但是对给小费是大家都知道的。
Ming: I agree with Judith that people are happy to receive tips, especially if you don’t tip them in front of their bosses!
明:我也和朱迪思一样认为，人们很高兴接收小费，尤其是不在他们的老板面前给小费。
Ming & Nancy: Judith, you’ve given us a lot of wonderful advice for the American doing business abroad. If you were to give a Chinese client who wanted to do business in the U.S. three important pieces of advice, what would they be?
明和Nancy:朱迪思,你给了美国人如何在国外做生意的非常好的建议。如果你给中国人想在美国做生意的三条建议的话，它们会是什么？
Judith: First, that “time is money.” Americans will want to get information and get the deal done: pitch the proposal, counter objections, close the deal. I’d tell them to expect to do business right away.
朱迪思:第一，’时间就是金钱’。美国人要取得信息，把交易做成。先提建议，提出异议，生意成交。我得对中国人的建议是快速做生意。
[Ch. 13: “Travel & International Etiquette”—“Americans operate in a low-context culture and “monochronic” time theme. Time is money. “Let’s do this now.”]
（第１３章：国际礼仪。美国人在低情竟的文化中操作，’单一‘时代旋律。时间就是金钱。’我们现在就做。‘）
Second, I’d tell the client that because American business people tend to use of a lot of electronic communication devices—phone, email, text-messaging, etc.— they will be expected to at least be able to do some business by phone.
第二点，我要告诉客户的是，美国生意人一般都愿用电子通讯设备，如电话，电子邮件，打信等。至少用电话来做部分生意是在预料之中的。
[Ch. 5: “Telephone Skills”—“You should dedicate time, effort, and pre-planning before you place your telephone calls. The telephone call is simply another form of presentation, one that is actually more challenging and requires more, not less, prep work.”]
（第５章：电话技术。你应该在打电话之前找出时间，努力，并做提前计划。打电话只是另一种方式的介绍形式。这更具挑战，更需要多做提前准备。
And finally, I’d make them aware that although gifts and entertainment are a big part of international business protocol, they are used much less often in the U.S..
最后，我想让他们知道，礼物和娱乐是做国际生意的很大一部分，在美国就相对用的少多了。
For Americans I’d advise: say “please” and “thank you” frequently, prepare well and in detail for any business dealings or meetings, and remember that the Chinese are very gracious people who value graciousness highly.
和美国人做生意，我要告诉中国客户经常说’请‘和’谢谢‘，在任何谈生意的场合和会面的时机下都要预先作好准备并且要作好仔细准备。
Ming & Nancy: Judith, it’s been wonderful talking with you. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise and some of your international business experiences with us and with our readers.
明和Nancy:朱迪思，这次和你的谈话真是令人愉快。非常感谢你和我们及我们的读者分享你的专家学识和一些你的国际商业经验。
Judith: It was my pleasure to talk to both of you. And thank you for sharing your experience with me, too.
朱迪思:跟你们谈话也是我的享受。也谢谢你们和我一起分享你们的经验。
Here is a link that will allow you to purchase the English-language version of Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette
. The Chinese-language version will be available soon.这是让你购买商务新礼仪英文版的网站：http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1564149293?ie=UTF8&tag=uschiinf-20&
中文版马上就要出版了。
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