Today's post deals with table manners in China and the U.S. The topic will be continued in our next post.
今天的期刊是关于中国和美国的台礼。 此题 在下期会继续探讨。
Chinese Table Manners 中国的台礼
-by Ming
Chopsticks, anyone?
Chinese people are very skillful with chopsticks, but sometimes when Westerners visit, they find it quite a task to handle the two sticks, let alone use them to pick up small items such as beans or grains of rice. When I first arrived in the States, it felt similarly awkward to use a fork to eat or to use a knife to cut large pieces of food (e.g., meat) rather than lifting the piece to my mouth and using my teeth. Of course, now I know that this is considered rude in the States, but in China, it's considered normal since you can’t use chopsticks to cut some types of food.
谁要筷子吗？
中国人用筷子很有技术。但当西方人探访中国时， 有时觉的很难对付这两根木棍， 更别提去用这两根木棍去笳象豆子或米粒了。 当我刚到美国时， 我也同样觉的用叉子吃饭或用刀切大块食品很不方便， 比如说肉， 而不用牙齿来咬。当然现在我知道用牙来咬在美国是不文明的。 但在中国是很正常的， 因为你不能用筷子来切有些食品。
Plates, Bowls, and Eating Soup 盘子，碗， 和喝汤
In China, plates are used to serve shared (generally stir-fried) dishes, and bowls are used to serve individual portions. Most of the time, rice, the main staple, is served in individual bowls. Soups are also served in individual bowls and are either eaten with a spoon or sipped directly from the bowl. Although in the U.S., it’s not considered good manners to drink directly from the bowl, in China, it's the norm. Also, sipping the soup loudly is considered good manners since it signals to your host that you’re enjoying the soup. In the States, soup is served as a first course, but in China, it’s served as the last.
在中国， 盘子是用来盛菜（一般是抄菜）的， 碗是用来捡菜吃的。通常来说， 米饭是主食， 是盛在各自碗里的。虽然在美国从碗里直接喝汤是不文明的， 在中国却是很正常。 而且， 喝汤带声表示你很喜欢主人做的汤。在美国， 汤先上桌，但在中国， 汤最后上。
Serving Utensils
When you’re in China, you’ll often see people use their individual set of chopsticks to take food from a serving dish. Although more and more young people and business people have adopted the practice of using shared serving spoons instead, you can see many people who still follow the old custom. If a dish is presented and you don’t see a serving spoon, you can politely request a serving spoon to let others know what you prefer, but please don’t get upset if one of your dining companions forgets to use it. When I’m in China and dining with others, I usually use clean chopsticks to serve myself first. (Guests are expected to serve themselves first.) Traditionally, it’s even considered hospitable for a person to use his/her chopsticks to put food into the bowl of a guest. You can decide whether to eat that food or not. Customs change slowly, and sometimes a host’s desire to be welcoming overrides other concerns.
A Multitude of Dishes
In Chinese culture, you’ll always see one dish after another arrive at the table. This aspect of Chinese hospitality might surprise you as an American. However, the custom of serving many (15, 20, or more) dishes is thousands of years old, so accept it graciously and bring a big appetite.
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U.S. Table Manners
-by Nancy
As I think about table manners, two things come to mind:
1. how universal certain elements of hospitality are—e.g., when a host, serving guests first or, when a guest, being willing to try all of the dishes; and
2. how culturally specific other elements of dining etiquette are—e.g., the Chinese custom of slurping soup to show that you enjoy it or the American custom of adding salt or pepper to food, which might strike Chinese as equally impolite.
In preparing this post, I happened to consult Craig Clairborne’s Elements of Etiquette to refresh my memory about certain American customs of more formal dining. Although, as I was growing up, my mother made sure that my siblings and I learned formal dining customs, some of the customs were, like the “good china,” only used on special occasions—weddings, formal dinners, etc. My current sense of good manners is influenced by a general embracing of simplicity.
Recognizing that table manners, like all customs, signify respect for the group to which one belongs—or is visiting—I’d like to recap (with some gentle reminders from Mr. Clairborne) the table manners that I learned as I was growing up. I hope that Chinese visitors to the U.S. will find them helpful.
Instructions I Heard as a Young Child
“Sit up straight. . . Put your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. . .Wait until grace is done before you start eating. . . Don’t smack. . . Don’t slurp. . . Don't talk with your mouth full. . .Excuse yourself if you burp. . .Keep your elbows off the table. . . Put your knife on the outside of the fork when you cut. . . Say “please pass the salt”. . .Keep your knife on the rim of your plate after you use it. . .Fold your napkin after you use it (so that others can’t see where you wiped your mouth). . .Don’t interrupt adults’ conversation. . .Don’t twirl your fork in the air. . .Clear the table before having dessert. . .Wait until everyone’s done before you get up. . . Ask to be excused before you get up. . . ”
Instructions I Learned for Formal Dining (e.g., When Attending a Wedding or Business Dinner, or When Hosting a Formal Meal)
“Wait until the host starts putting on his/her napkin before you do . . Use the fork or spoon on the outside first. . . Put a pat of butter on your plate, then tear off a small piece of bread and butter it. . . If you have to leave for a minute, gently lay your napkin to the left of your plate. . . Serve food from the left, beverages from the right. . . Clear from the right. . . Serve the guest first. . . Clear the table before serving dessert.”
As noted in the last post—“Hugs or Handshakes?”—an open and friendly manner can help compensate for any social gaffes that you might make when dining in another culture. When in doubt about how to act in an unfamiliar situation—whether meeting some for the first time, dining, or anything else, the following quote may be a helpful guide:
Good manners may in Seven Words be found: Forget Yourself and think of Those Around
-Arthur Gutterman
(quoted in Elements of Etiquette by Craig Clairborne)
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